Disney's California Adventure Extreme Makeover: No Better Blues

Disney announced plans today to try and improve on their under-performing second gate, Disney's California Adventure. The press release describes what the Burbank gang is planning for the former Disneyland parking lot...

Things don't appear to be getting any better. And they're spending over a billion dollars on the improvements.

To my way of thinking, they've made the announcement too soon-- there's an awful lot of half-baked ideas in that official statement.

Put another way, if this is the best they've got (with the exception of the mentioned "Cars Land"), we're all in store for Dismal California Adventure, version 2.



They've announced that they are building a "Unique Nighttime Spectacular" water show that, "...features colorful lighting." You've GOT to be kidding me. How very... um... 1973.

The not-on-anyone's-travel-agenda tortilla-and-bread-making plant remains??? REALLY? The one part of the park you could roll-a-grenade-through-and-not-hit-a-soul (kids, don't try this at home), remains largely intact?!? Who the heck is doing their research?? Who in their right mind spends 66 bucks to watch a machine flatten corn meal?!? Am I alone here? I'm thinking, 'where's my mine train ride through the grizzly mountain?' and Disney president, Bob Iger is giving me maize.



HOLLYWOOD PICTURES BACKLOT: They wanna hold workshops with writers and directors. Wow. Plastic folding chairs in an overheated conference room and a tacky dais of your favorite (but never heard of them before) Desperate Housewife staff scribes. So now DCA is the biggest, most fun version of The Learning Tree Annex. Is this release for real? Did Iger read this pap before it was released? It sounds like a mid-level publicist wrote this drivel before it had the chance of being reviewed by Head Imagineer Bob Weis, Pixar and Imagineering Guru John Lasseter OR Iger. This whole document comes across like a boring travel pamphlet published by a podunk chamber of commerce.

I wince when Iger invokes Walt's name-- I don't believe their intent is true. In fact, I think it is an indicator that WDI is still grasping for TRUE solutions to an underwhelmed public response to DCA, and using the iconic Disney name like a salve to cover the lack of ideas.



The bottom line is that DCA is too "off the shelf"-- not enough unique "DISNEY" ideas to ride approaches. What I'm seeing in this release is the mention of a lot of shops and restaurants, and not enough (except as stated above, regarding CARS LAND) fun and innovative attractions.

GOLDEN STATE: Sounds unchanged. Read the release, you'll agree with me.

PREVIEW CENTER: As a kid I LOVED seeing models of "Discoveryland" and other proposed projects from WDI. That said, I fail to see how a small storefront crammed with posterboard models will drive ticket sales to 15 million. Hey, I kid... but is the best idea they have to "fix" an entire themed land?

Lastly, where was any mention of John Lasseter? Neither the LA Times, the Disney release or today's Wall Street Journal column mentioned him-- and he's for all intents and purposes, guiding this re-do.



Iger is known in some Hollywood camps for being an very affable -- yet not so creative -- guy. Without John Lasseter's hand -- a true storyteller & creative force in the mold of Walt Disney -- the project is up a creek.

I get the impression that the creative teams have a long way to go before they plunge the first shovel into the soil. If they move too quickly, today's press release indicates that Disney is about to make another big blunder in the old parking lot.

When Good Pluto Goes Bad

Check this out...

Pluto Fight

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Clearly, the kid has done something to seriously piss-off Pluto.

The probably-pimpled-teen in the costume is moving at full throttle-- WAY too fast to be moving safely in that dense of a crowd. Imagine the premium Disney would be paying if Pluto had mowed-over an innocent bystander.

For some who might be thinking this is an act, I say, this is no act. Chasing a kid doesn't make for good theatre. Except on Halloween. When the brats are tee-peeing your front yard.

No matter how badly a kid acts towards a character, there's no justifying this sort of reaction. Face it: giant mice and upright walking dogs are role models for our kids. Resorting to physical intimidation isn't the way you solve a problem. Especially if you're a big, furry dog.

You wonder what would have happened if the enraged Pluto actually collared the kid? How traumatic would it have been for some of the smaller kids to have witnessed an enraged Pluto doing a beat-down on the scamp?

Disneyland Confirms Attraction To Close

Hollywood Thoughts ran into Ed Grier-- the 51 year-old president of Disneyland -- the other day...

In our brief conversation, Grier officially confirmed the rumors of the imminent destruction of Tom Sawyer Island's Fort Wilderness attraction (recently renamed, Pirate's Lair on Tom Sawyer's Island). As Hollywood Thoughts reported last month, the wooden fort -- designed, in part, by Walt Disney -- will be replaced by a stone fortress similar in style to the one found in the Pirates of the Caribbean battle scene.

When asked if the fort would be re-opened to the public and feature a pirate themed stunt show (as rumors have suggested), Grier said, "No-- it'll be used for storage and a backstage break area for cast members." When we pressed that this would be a loss for the kids (remember climbing up to the fort's shotgun lookouts to peg passing canoe paddlers?), we were told the change was necessary to fill a need for a critical lack of "backstage" space for staff.

There have been unofficial internet posts that suggest demolition work has already begun-- but that they have stalled because of asbestos found in the fort's fifty-one year-old structure.

Grier is a 26-year Disney veteran who oversaw the company's operations of Tokyo Disney Resort before being named President of the Disneyland Resort in 2006.

Donald Trump Saving The Lives Of Party Girls!

In one of those Life-Is-Stranger-Than-Fiction moments, Hollywood Thoughts takes notice of Donald Trump's partnership with FOX on a new reality project called Lady or a Tramp.

The idea is simple: party girls are sent to charm school and then judged on their ability to reform themselves.

Here's the actual casting call posted on the internet last week for Trump's new show:

"Casting for a new network reality competition
series is looking for younger women who are
18-30, love to party and full of attitude.
The premise of the show is to take these
rude and crude party girls, and with proper
etiquette training turn them into Ladies.
If this describes you or someone you know,
send an email with name, age, contact numbers,
a detailed description of yourself or the person
you are nominating and why they would be great
for the show and a photo to Brenda Della Casa at:
creativelolita@gmail.com."

Hello?!!? Anyone else out there find this sorta... um, twisted?!?

Didn't Donald find enough satisfaction in setting party girl/ Miss USA Tara Conner back onto the straight-and-narrow? Now he's taking-on all of the nation's bad girls? Isn't the incessant chatter over Paris, Lindsay and Britney enough? What's the new catchphrase? "Take your kegger-- you're fried"???

One can only hope experts in this field, Rick and Kathy Hilton, will be a part of the makeover team...

Sopranos Final Episode...

... Sucked.

No, your HBO feed didn't go on the fritz, it was just (show creator) David Chase's cruddy ending.

Wait! There was no ending. Just a blank screen. With no sound.

I might be wrong on this one, but I think I know why the guy has only written and directed one other episode (the pilot). He's the George Lucas of the small screen: great on the BIG idea-- not so good with the specific details (structure & dialogue).

The run-up to the final episode has been wonderful... but, boy, what a let down the final hour turned out to be-- completely disjointed and totally unsatisfying.

Yeah, I got the message: we should remember the good times... and life goes on. Blah, blah, blah. Give me the Dallas "It-Was-Only-A-Dream" series finale-- I think I prefer it as the most satisfying-of- the-unsatisfying of cop-out endings.

Chase has been clear that he hates TV's normal storytelling techniques.

NOTE TO DAVID CHASE:

It's never good to piss-off your audience. Us "groundlings" out here prefer our stories with a beginning, middle and end. It's satisfying. It's good structure. It's what keeps us returning... and keeps you on the air.

Paris Hilton Busts Out Of The Hollywood Hills!

A shot of Paris Hilton leaving the Sheriff's new "Kings Road Detention Facility," high above the Sunset Strip.

Paris Hilton Get Out Of Jail Card: Lee Baca

Hollywood Thoughts bets that we'll hear Sheriff Lee Baca try to justify his decision to spring the celebutard because of county jail overcrowding.

Lame.

While the Sheriff has a good argument for obtaining funds to build more jails (so the crooks aren't going free), the bigger message being sent is: When you've got the dough, you're free to go.

For anyone that hasn't heard: The most recent account has Hilton's shrink convincing Baca to release Paris because she was on the edge of a breakdown (Sure. She's the first person incarcerated in L.A.'s Twin Towers to have ever felt that way). How soon 'til some con files a lawsuit over being someone's bee-yaatch or a bout of the night sweats...???

Paul McCartney Makes Kissy Face

Hollywood Thoughts just took a stroll into the local Starbucks with the creator of the website Tabloid Baby, when we were confronted by this picture:



Is there anything more pitiful than a sixty five year-old icon making a pouty kissy face?

The Germans have schadenfreude to describe pleasure derived from someone else's misfortune, but does a word or phrase exist that adequately describes the pucker factor you get from someone else's embarrassing actions???

This shot, by the way, is posted in every Starbucks around the world to promote Maca's new album, "Memory Almost Full."

Join the first ever Hollywood Thoughts contest to create such a word by hitting the comment button below...

:::

This is our 75th post! Thanks to Guy Blake, Esq. for the inspiration.

"Finding Nemo" Submarine Ride: A Sneak Peek!

Spoiler Alert-- stop reading if you don't want to discover the secrets of the new ride!

The following peek is for our land-locked readers unable to make the trek to Disneyland anytime soon to see the park's latest "E-ticket" attraction.

Hollywood Thoughts got a spot on-board the newly renovated subs as a part of an industry premiere this past Saturday night (the press preview is tomorrow, Wednesday, June 6th... and the ride opens to the general public on Monday, June 11th).

The sub attraction originally debuted in 1959, but has been mothballed for nearly a decade-- so it was an oddly familiar feeling climbing down the sub's twisting stairwell; a true time machine for a favorite ride of my L.A. childhood.

We had two rides that lasted approximately 12 minutes each. The subs themselves are largely the same-- only minor tweaks to the exteriors (a different shaped skipper's "sail"), and all of the craft have lost their gray paint scheme to share a bright yellow livery.



The inside cabin sports a wire-mesh lining that houses a new sound system that keeps the water-bound action in synch with the view of each rider's individual porthole. The re-jiggered subs accommodate two additional passengers-- and the biggest change involves the installation of electric motors. No more nauseous gas fumes filling the interior from the old diesel engines.



For The Record:

The fleet of nine subs allowed the Disney theme parks to boast that they were the world's eighth largest "navy."

Some Things Never Change:

Yes, you still sail through a curtain of bubbles to make your first "dive" into deep waters. First stop? The film's Darla character (the dentist's bratty brace-faced niece) in scuba gear bagging an unfortunate little fish.



The subs still have a narrator in the form of the skipper and his (now female) first mate-- both sporting breezy Aussie accents.

The storyline quickly shifts to include a view of undersea vents... volcanoes... and an ancient "lost" civilization. Both times through this section we had slow downs-- including one full stop. I later spoke to a cast member who confided that the boat drivers still "needed practice"-- hence the unscheduled delay. The subs are on tracks, but each "driver" controls the speed of your ride (I guess busy days might result in a slightly faster trip).

In truth, the "ancient ruins" are the weakest portion of the journey-- the art direction seems thin. Pretty soon, though, the ride earns itself an "E Ticket" value for its technical bling factor.

The gang at Disney Imagineering has the entire animated cast of "Finding Nemo" joining -- via high-definition video projection -- each sub along its journey-- and it's a pretty impressive effect.



The animation techniques used on "Nemo" are not new-- but they are employed in an incredibly fresh staging. Additionally, the structure of the ride (and it up-to-date sound system) allows for "Nemo" to be one of the few attractions (aside from Star Tours) to employ a true storyline with dense -- but easily tracked -- dialogue.

The ride is packed with action: there are explosions... sub eating whales... snaggly-toothed sharks... shipwrecks... and deadly explosive mines.

Yes, there are several "old school" underwater animatronic figures (scuba divers, chomping eels, a forest of jelly fish, blue whales and swimming sea turtles) with the rote movements of their 1950's predecessors. The new animated figures come into play once the subs enter the lagoon's covered "cave."



Hollywood Thoughts has learned that inside the "cave," the subs are separated from the animated characters by a giant wall of invisible plexiglass. Behind the plexiglass -- in the center of the cave -- exists a "dry" control room where the various characters are hi-def images projected onto glass to give the impression that Nemo & Company are swimming alongside the sub's portholes. Set pieces - also in the dry environment -- mimic those placed near the sub to heighten the illusion that all of the action occurs underwater. Pay attention to the "lava flow" scene. GREAT STUFF that'll leave you shaking your head in respect of the imagineer's efforts!

Some other stand-out scenes:

A hyper-realistic recreation of the film's shipwreck scene where Nemo first meets Bruce the shark. The underwater lighting and art direction here is fantastic-- and creepy. You won't believe how much depth there is to this location.

It's also fun watching Dorrie (the Ellen DeGeneres character) bounce around a massive forest of jelly fish (a nice use of mirrors) and trying "whale speak" (yes, we get swallowed by one-- though this effect doesn't really work since our "exit" isn't represented in an anatomically correct fashion. I'll let you figure that one out). There's also a vibrating run through a field of explosive mines. Less impressive is the depiction of Crush the turtle's less-than-wild-ride on the EAC (Eastern Australian Current).

Hollywood Thoughts can't confirm this, but it doesn't seem that Ellen DeGeneres or Albert Brooks actually reprise their (voice) roles for the ride.

Look for a tip of the hat to the old ride's sea monster-- he's towards the end of the run and now a permanent part of the surrounding corral reef.

The Bottom Line:

"Nemo" physically straddles the boundry between Disneyland's Tomorrowland and Fantasyland... and this latest version of the popular ride is the perfect metaphor for a part of the park that represents both technology and imagination.



6/6: NEMO UPDATE:

To help with the expected crush of summer crowds, Disney has just announced that beginning June 11th, the day the subs resurface, guests will be allowed to join the queue until official park closing-- with the subs will continuing their voyages for up to 2 1/2 hours after park closing. While in line, guests will also be armed with a special Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage activity guide to aid them in search of “Hidden Nemos."

The park is also debuting Nemo-themed food creations, such as a snack pack with cheddar fish crackers mixed with an “East Australian Crunch,” popcorn buckets, cupcakes, and apple juice throughout Tomorrowland.

:::

On Other Fronts:


Hollywood Thoughts reliable sources indicate that Fort Wilderness on Tom Sayer's Island will be demolished in the next several weeks. Its "foot print" will remain, but in the place of a WOODEN fort, a STONE one -- similar to the version found inside the Pirates of the Caribbean battle scene -- will rise.

There's a chance this space will become a storage facility for the "Fantasmic!" river show, but there's also a possibility that a small store and some sort of pirate stunt show will come to exist at this location.

Pirate Premiere = No Lines At Disneyland

Soon after arriving at Disneyland this past Saturday afternoon (2pm), I encountered a sign that said the park would be closing at 5pm. At this time of the year, the park is normally open 'til midnight-- why such a short day?!?

What to do??? Turn around and make the long hike back home?

How does a Dad explain to his three year-old that Disneyland is a 'no-go'-- especially after a week's worth of hype-talk?



Like a dork, I had accidentally plopped us smack dab in the center of the world premiere for the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie. The early closing time was to accommodate the red carpet arrivals (the film would unspool on a giant, temporary, screen built at the foot of Tom Sawyer's Island).





The place looked crowded, but I decided to proceed with caution. Main Street was clogged with thousands of fans and dozens-and-dozens of TV crews. I was immediately in a tail-spin: the whole day looked like it was going to be a huge mess. Big, pushy crowds. Tight squeezes past the sun baked mobs and TV gear... and Disney's rope nazis with their non-stop, full-throated war chants ("Stay to the right, folks! Keep moving! Keep MOVING, people!). In my experience, big crowds never make for great memories at the Happiest Place On Earth.


Boy, was I wrong!

Bless the Pirate fans! Most of the bodies in the park were all clumped along Main Street waiting to eyeball a celeb. Meanwhile... Fantasyland, Toontown and Tomorrowland were mostly empty pieces of real estate. Overall, the park was lightly attended because -- I think -- of its shortened hours. Those in attendance were, as I said, gathered mostly 'round the red carpet.



In just a short time, we visited the following rides:



Peter Pan; Snow White; Pinocchio; Mr. Toad; Dumbo; Casey Jr. train; Storybook Canal Boats; Alice In Wonderland;
It's A Small World; Roger Rabbit's Car-toon Spin; Minnie Mouse House; Mickey Mouse Film Barn; Goofy's House; Donald's Tug Boat; Peter Pan (a second time around!); Autopia (TWICE-- we never had to get out of the car!); The Monorail; Tomorrowland Rocket Ride and Star Tours.

Wow! An all time high for us: 20 rides in a single visit. A perfect day for a toddler-- all because of a few pirates.

Saturday's crowds had to be among the smallest I have seen -- in terms of the length of lines for attractions -- in nearly three years. The "perfect storm" was stalled over Main Street, while it was smooth sailing on the 'east side' of the park.



As a side note, I never ventured near Main Street's crowds again until nearly 8:15pm (where I almost got knocked over by Maria Shriver & Arnold's HUGE (30+ folks) entourage.

While I cannot fathom waiting in the hot sun for nearly 16 hours (many people arrived at Disneyland around 4:30am!) to spot a celeb on a red carpet, I heard from MANY folks that the stars were VERY generous in signing autographs and posing for pictures with fans-- good for them!



Two final thoughts:

There's a new onslaught of pirates coming to Disneyland: this Friday (the 25th), Tom Sawyer's Island will officially be re-christened as, "Pirate's Lair on Tom Sawyer's Island." Rumors indicate that a second phase will be completed on the island sometime next year-- with the hand constructed lincoln-log style "Fort Wilderness" being torn down-- possibly to house a pirate stunt show. The speculation has the park's devotees in an uproar: Tom Sawyer's Island is considered the "Holy of Holies" as it is the only attraction personally designed -- top-to-bottom -- by the hand of Walt Disney.



Lastly, the new "Finding Nemo" attraction (at the site of the former submarine ride) is just two weeks away from its grand opening. The subs were undergoing testing on Saturday, and the buzz indicates a new form of animation that allows some of the film's characters to "follow" along the sub's portholes during the "undersea" adventure. Remember the overwhelming stink of diesel when you pressed your nose up against the glass? That's a memory of the past: the new subs are all electric. Catch the OLD subs here.

Britney Spears Has A Shaved Head & A New Tattoo

Honestly, with a headline like that, I don't think there's much more to say.

But why do I care? I don't... except that all of this happened not much more than 500 feet from my backdoor.

See, when I came home tonight, there were twenty to thirty photographers lurking in the alley across from my garage door. I soon found out they were paparazzi stalking Ms. Brit who was inside the slightly tattered buzz-parlor known as "Body + Soul."

Hey, a celebutard right in my backyard. Literally.

I decided to take a look. Who cares if the hot turkey melt I just picked-up from the Mel's Diner would be reduced to a congealed mess of gouda on cold poultry meat? I smelled a story... and I JUST HAD to be an investigative reporter for my readership.



I went around to the front of the place, and was quickly engulfed by a mob of nearly a hundred twenty-somethings. But, LOOK! There she is! I spotted my quarry: a now bald-headed, trash talking, newly inked mother-of-two. Ooops, she just did it again.

Who the hell is watching after the kids while Mama is running around without panties or hair??!!??

Ah, hell... at least the new 'do has Brit's carpet matching her drapes. If you know what I mean.

With her wrist newly etched with a pair of red lips, and a completely cut down pate, she definitely looks like the type that would man the drive-thru next to Kevin whats-his-name on the fry machine* (*please review the Federline Super Bowl commercial if you're having a tough time following the line of thought here). Maybe she was celebrating her one day of sobriety after her short -- but successful? -- stint in rehab.



Bottom line? Well, let's just say I don't quite understand people that still wonder why home values are slipping here in the 'hood...

Cinderella Suite Sounds Sweet!

If you've ever dreamed of actually spending the night inside a Disney theme park, your wish has just come true. It's a part of Disney's "The Year of a Million Dreams" campaign.



Unused space within Orlando's Cinderella castle -- originally envisioned as in-park accommodations for the Disney family -- has been transformed into a "Cinderella Castle Suite." Each day, a specially selected Walt Disney World guest will be chosen randomly at the park for their special night in the newly outfitted (17th century-style) penthouse.



The guest (and up to five members of their party) can keep the castle lights burning bright into the night inside the suite that consists of a salon, bedchamber and bathroom (off a private marble-floored foyer).





Guests will discover a mosaic of the fairytale pumpkin coach in the foyer's marble floor inlay-- as well as a Steuben designed glass slipper.



A Disney press release states that despite all the
careful attention to centuries-old details, "...the
amenities of the Cinderella Castle Suite are
definitely 21st century. There's a lavish garden tub
plus a shower. As for an ornately framed,
17th-century-style portrait of Cinderella above a
regal fireplace in the bedchamber: it magically
changes into a modern, 21st-century flat-screen
television."





As for guests to California's Disneyland park? The company has outfitted a special Mickey Mouse themed room at the Disneyland Hotel (outside of the magic kingdom).

Hollywood Thoughts wonders how long 'til a randy Prince and Princess are caught canoodling on a castle turret by early arrivals to the park?!?

Judith Regan Is A Victim

I can't stand hearing the media pap excoriating Judith Regan for her role in the now "lost" O.J. Simpson project.

It's all a load of bull. More to the point, the ruckus is nothing more than whining and professional jealousy.

The nation's news outlets were all stung by Regan's amazing "get."

Does anyone truly believe that the media cares this much about safeguarding the public's sensitivity-- or is in a position to judge matters of taste?

If that's the case, where's the outcry over the latest Charlie Manson interview? How about the first sit-down with the Menendez brothers?



Now that Regan has been pushed-out of her Century City offices, I see that the New York Times no longer views Simpson's description of the murder scene as out-of-bounds. Curious.

I guess printing a leaked transcript of a book that no longer exists adds a gauzy layer of acceptability for the old gray lady. Curious.

Does anyone reading this know of someone that was truly offended by the announced, "If I Did It" project? I don't. Yet, if you read or listened to the daily dribble concerning the Regan/Murdoch firestorm, you would have walked away feeling that every citizen living in a blue or red state was moved to a vibrating fury over the "tasteless" Simpson project.

Who was outraged? Again, I don't know a single person that was upset over the impending printing. Natch-- I strongly suspect the only ones "outraged" were a bunch of angry -- and jealous -- news suits.

Regan's biggest problem is that she's upset a long list of folks who are envious over her success. This was their 'get back' moment. It's a shame we're still endorsing book burnings in this day and age. It would have been interesting to see how outrageous book sales would have been.

Regan's been a victim before, but she won't remain one for long.

Who Needs "Dancing With The Stars"?

Here's a little something from our friends at You Tube.

I don't know about you, but all of us at Hollywood Thoughts are getting a wee bit bored by Mario, Jerry and Emmitt over at DWTS-- and this seems to be the perfect tonic.

Hooray for Bollywood! Enjoy.

The Future Of Historic Columbia Square

Hollywood Thoughts recieved some interesting feedback regarding our story on the future of the historic Columbia Square property at the corner of Sunset and Gower (current home of KCBS and KCAL).

First, councilman Eric Garcetti, states his position on the fates of the CBS and Palladium buildings... and the rumors of their imminent demise:

"I can assure you that is neither the plan for the folks that just bought CBS (while their plan is not set, they know that they cannot tear down CBS and are willing to work within that requirement), nor are these two properties tied together. I have insisted that the Palladium, CBS buildings, and Nickelodeon sites all remain with any new construction done around them and everyone seems to be clear working within these parameters. I know the gossip meters have been talking about these buildings getting torn down every few months in the five years since I have been in office, but the residential and more importantly office/production spaces are in high demand in Hollywood right now, so I believe we are in good shape."

Then, from Brian Lewis of Marathon Communications-- a representative of Columbia Square's new owners, Molasky Pacific:

"...I just wanted to set you straight on what’s really being considered for that site. There are absolutely no plans to raze the facility. In fact, the centerpiece of the development being contemplated for the site is the renovation of historic Columbia Square. Details of the plan will be finalized soon, but rest assured they will include the reuse of Columbia Square. We are currently working with community stakeholders to refine that plan, which we hope to announce early next year."

Hollywood Thoughts hopes they'll carve-out space for live theatre instead of simply adding another Jamba Juice to the 'hood. Maybe a cool, independent bookseller? How about a small radio studio -- visible from the street -- as a nod to the building's origins?

We'll be watching... and hoping.

Christmas In October

Yeegawds!

The giant, electric light Christmas tree has risen atop the Hollywood Capitol Records building.

Why?!? WHY?!? W-H-Y?!?

Look, we all know retailers start celebrating Valentine's Day on New Year's... Halloween crap now hits the shelf the same week the kids head back to school... but Christmas while everyone's still making plans on where to trick-or-treat???

I know that it's silly for me to hope that we can return to the days where all the Christmas goo-gaws don't get placed in the store windows until Thanksgiving, but, c'mon... give us a break.



By-the-way, in the spirit of giving (or would it be monkey-see-monkey-do?), the Hollywood Rite Aid at Sunset and Gower officially unveiled their ceramic "Miniature Christmas Town" collection this afternoon. Get yourself a tiny house... stable... or toy store for $14.99. Or show some restraint and hold-out 'til the traditional day-after-Thanksgiving-Christmas- doo-dad price drop.

Check it out. On Aisle Three.



:::

Update: The Christmas tree was aglow on Wednesday evening (10/18), but off last night (Thurs., 10/19). This begs the question: did we witness a lighting test???

The New CBS Parking Lot

A prominent on-air news personality has told Hollywood Thoughts that the old CBS Columbia Square facility at Sunset and Gower will most likely be razed, and then rebuilt as a parking lot structure for the upcoming Palladium redevelopment project.

According to the National Trust's website, the Los Angeles Conservancy is, "...working with city officials to find a new purpose for Columbia Square. The good news is that since the building is classified as a historic resource for a Hollywood redevelopment plan, it can't be demolished without an environmental-impact review conducted first.

Situated on the former site of Los Angeles' very first movie studio, Nestor Film Company, the William Lescaze-designed structure already had a past when it was built in 1938. The pilot for "I Love Lucy" was filmed in the eight-studio facility and James Dean ushered there."

Yeah, well... we know how those environmental-impact studies go.

Milton Bradley's New Game

From the wonderful L.A. Observed website, a post about Milton Bradley-- the troubled and anger-prone former L.A. Dodger outfielder:

"They love Milton Bradley in Oakland. He had a
much more enjoyable time with the A's this year
than he ever did alongside Jeff Kent in the
Dodgers clubhouse. Dodger fans would probably be
surprised to learn that after the A's playoff
loss to the Tigers this weekend, San Francisco
Chronicle columnist Bruce Jenkins singled
out Bradley as Oakland's leader in guts and
clubhouse class..."

Here is a part of the Chronicle's article on the new & improved Milton Bradley:

"One of baseball's toughest men was moved
to tears. Sitting at his locker, a towel draped
over his head, Milton Bradley had been crying.
His eyes were blood-red as he finally turned to
face the media. He handled a most difficult
interview session the way he handled the
American League Championship Series -- intensely,
professionally, without fear.

As much as he tried, Frank Thomas could
not carry Oakland through this series. In a
sea of futility, on a team coming to life
only in the final, desperate moments, Bradley
took the responsibility upon himself.
Along the way, he became more of a man. He
found his most pleasurable experiences, by
far, in a baseball uniform. To have all that,
and to have given his best in defeat, moved
the man to tears....

"I just feel I was made for this,"
Bradley said through those reddened eyes.
"The pressure. Giving it all you have. It
was such a great ride. Most fun I've
ever had in baseball. Best team I've ever
been with. Maybe someday I'll smile, and be
happy, over having
played well. Right now, it hurts."

L.A. Observed finishes their post by saying:

"The Dodgers should be kicking themselves
for not finding a way to help Bradley take
this step forward here in his hometown."













If memory serves correct, Hollywood Thoughts recalls that the Dodgers DID send Mr. Bradley to anger management courses. While L.A. Observed is probably suggesting that the Dodger organization might have been better served by not giving-up on Bradley so soon, it raises a bigger question:

Since when is it a ball club's responsibility to help form, rehab and/or makeover a player's personality?

That's the job of the man himself. Parents, family, friends, loved ones and influential teachers can have a hand in shaping a person during their formative years... but his employer???

C'mon. Let's get real.

If you or I have too many sick days for a stupid head cold, the boss is probably calling H.R. to arrange the "exit" paperwork. An employer pays you to do a job. Period.

Unless your contract states the home office is supposed to bail you out of jail... hire an army of bodyguards to keep you from running into the stands and beating the snot out of a fan... or keep you from becoming a drag on everyone in the dugout, you're outta luck.

Here's the odd reality: the Dodgers probably DID play a role in the re-make of Milton Bradley.

When they fired him.

Like an alcoholic, Milton Bradley probably needed to hit bottom before he could find the strength to effect a change in his habits. His temper had already made him damaged goods when he landed in Los Angeles, and his firing from the Dodgers put him on notice that his big league career was on it's final legs. Unless he straightened-up.

Fast.

Believe me, I'm happy at the news out of Oakland. It's good knowing that the name Milton Bradley means playing games is fun again...

Disney Lawyers Shut Down Mickey Mouse Internet Porn Flick

First there was the infamous Carmen Miranda pantyless pix...

Then flash forward to Pammy and Tommy's escapades on the Lake Havasu Love Boat.

























Paris Hilton.




















Then, the market on celebutard sex videos seemed to hit bottom with the disclosure that Saved By The Bell's "Screech" had his own Dirty Sanchez Sex Vid.















And now, this...

Mickey Mouse -- revealed as a philandering, cuckolded rodent -- has joined the ranks of a celeb with his own... um... sex tape.

The "Disney Orgy" video posted only 24 hours ago on YouTube has been taken down-- most likely by order of Disney lawyers.

Well here it is, via iFilm. Take a peek at the video that the Disney lawyers don't want you to see.

If watching cartoon characters having sex is your thing...

Mouse Swap At After Hours Disney Swing Joint

This clip first came to our attention from the cutting-edge website, Tabloid Baby.

Normally we don't pilfer from our friends, but Hollywoood Thoughts realizes this is something that needs to be shared.

Watch the video shot deep within the bowels of Disneyland Paris, and then continue reading...





What's most startling is the lack of eye-to-eye contact between Goofy and Minnie and Mickey and the snow-MAN (do snow-WOMEN exist?). Does this mean the characters from The Happiest Place on Earth have issues with intimacy?

The tape raises so many questions!

Why is Mickey with a snowman? We're looking for a possible metaphor here (cold heart?).

Captain Hook remains an onlooker. Voyeur... or insecure in the role of "swordsman" because of his physical disability?

Why does Minnie not reciprocate Goofy's furtive attempts at foreplay? Is Mickey put-off by the non-stop schoolgirl giggling?

Is Mickey a contented cuckold?!?

Where the hell's the duck? Probably off in some Tomorrowland S/M dungeon...

Why hasn't TMZ broken this story?

The rote, mechanical lovemaking makes one wonder if there is there no more love between the four-fingered folks in the Magic Kingdom.

Uncle Walt must be spinning in his freezer.

Hollywood Landmark Spared. For Now.

In another sign that the Southern California real estate market has slowed down, Hollywood's Old Spaghetti Factory has been spared from the wrecker's ball.

As previously mentioned in Hollywood Thoughts back in February, the former Sunset boulevard Studebaker showroom was scheduled for demolition sometime after Labor Day to begin making way for a luxe condo project.

Like similar developments in Hollywood -- and Las Vegas -- where dozens of highrise retail/housing ventures have been halted, the Italian eatery will remain in-situ for at least the next eighteen months.

Sources indicated to Hollywood Thoughts that the banker's dollars went soft when other mixed-use projects saw their anchor tenants walking away from falling land values and a slow-moving Hollywood re-development.

One financial constant in all of this? An extra helping of pasta still only costs a single buck.

Disneyland's New Pirates of the Caribbean Ride

The recent addition of the 'Johnny Depp pirate' to the classic Pirates of the Caribbean attraction has opened a Pandora's box of problems that the Imagineers were apparently unable to see.

Our complete review tomorrow morning...

One 'Mo On L-Lo

One last Lohan posting...

Hollywood Thoughts has now had two face-to-face run-in's with the young actress. Both times we offered a cheerful greeting... and were met with a couple of scowls.

Hmmm. Diva with nasty manners... or did we simply manage to catch the tardy thespian with weighty matters on her mind? No matter. We're just reporting the facts.

Hollywood Thought's encounters took place last week, but we didn't feel compelled to report them until yesterday's Tom Cruise 'dismissal' from Paramount for his poor public performance.

The thought of the day seems to be that there's a breeze of refreshing honesty blowing through town, and it's carrying this message:

If you are a highly paid celeb in this day of shrinking markets, tightened budgets, and cutbacks, you need to throttle back on the boorish behavior. Your raised visability might give you a platform in front of the camera, but behind it sits a guy that's busy signing -- or ripping-up -- the paychecks.

It seems that this month James Robinson, Sumner Redstone and a certain sugar-titted Sheriff in Malibu are getting the final cut.













Welllll, OK... at least until they need Mel, Tom or Lindsay for their next Mel-Tom-Or-Lindsay-would-be-perfect-for-this-can't-miss project.

Last-last Lohan Thought: Hollywood Thoughts has asked several of the Georgia Rule crew if the set is operating in a timely manner since the super-scary-skinny Lohan received "The Letter," and the best response we've heard so far is, "If we start an hour behind, that's considered on time."

Way to get the crew behind you, L-Lo.

"Everybody Smile!"

Tinkled Pink

Hollywood Thoughts has come across a few shots that are purported to be of singer, Pink, ummm... ah... taking care of business in a parking lot.

I really hesitated when it came to publishing these shots for a number of reasons:

1). I've met Pink. She's a neighbor, and she puts-on one heck of a cool Halloween display for the kids. Why embarrass someone from the 'hood?

2). I can't be certain this is, in fact, Pink.

3).

There is no "#3."

In this case, literally, only a #1.

Sooo, I leave it to all of you to decide what purpose it serves -- if any -- to post these shots (or delete them).

Is there any value to knowing that celebs -- just like us -- can get caught whilst in the middle of what surely must have been a desperate moment (Please, God, don't let me discover this is a regular activity for Pink and her roadies)?

Maybe these shots can serve as a sort of cautionary tale (For the Tinkler: "Don't pee in public-- you might get caught." OR, for the casual parking lot stroller: "Watch where you step; ya never know when some chick might have peed where you're walking.").

One interesting observation that's been noted by other habitual P.L.P'ers (Parking Lot Pee'ers): Pink is employing the popular "Two Door Outdoor Commode" technique. Apparently by opening two doors on the same side of a car, the P.L.P'er is creating a sort of "mo-bile stall" in an effort to secure some sort of privacy. In this instance, Pink's efforts to create a temporary "modesty shield" was thwarted by a hidden paparazzi... but I'm told that the P.L.P. crowd gives the Philadelphia native points "for trying."

While this may not be as shocking as Mel Gibson's recent anti-semitic remarks, it surely makes Lohan's late-night karaoke routine look downright vanilla.

Cast your vote...

The Onion Is Coming! The Onion Is Coming!

There, before my eyes, a giant onion had sprouted where only yesterday a blank patch of pavement had existed.

Near the corner of Sunset & Gower an empty newspaper rack sits. No papers yet-- only a green paint job and the simple logo of 'America's Finest News Source.'

A visit to the Onion's website gives no indication of any forthcoming printed versions of the web favorite, but we can hope.

GOOD GIRL LOHAN???

Seems that maybe -- just maybe -- Lindsey's days of lollygagging on nasty couches surrounded by walls of driftwood are behind her... and that she's refocused her energies from karaoke (the dehydrating and exhaustion-making variety) to on-time filmmaking (BTW: Did L.L.'s team actually think this was a hot look? We can't help but think the couch was dusty, smelly and, ahem, soiled. Definitely not hot.).

Hollywood Thoughts noted yesterday that Ms. Lohan's black Mercedes-Benz Brabus E V-12 BiTurbo (price tag of anywhere between $170,000 - $355,000usd) was parked next to the dressing rooms. Further, Ms. Lohan was spotted by members of the Hollywood Thoughts team while she was wearing slippers (golden-hued and spun from silk. Or rayon. What do I know? I'm a GUY) and shaking-out her locks in the make-up trailer late yesterday afternoon.

As of 9:00am today, no Benz was spotted (and the doors to the stage were, once again, wide open). HOWEVER, the crew -- for the first time in a long time -- actually looked busy. No milling around, or teamsters lazing on the loading dock with a breakfast burrito. Everyone looked like they were actually engaged in making a movie.

Sources inform Hollywood Thoughts that this is a "...big day" for Ms. Lohan.

Can L.L. be lurking somewhere on the lot...? We'll keep an open eye for you.

:::

BTW: The LA Times reported on Tuesday that Lohan was on-set Monday morning. It would seem that they took their report directly from some publicists pap.

The doors to the stage, as Hollywood Thoughts reported, were wide-open all day long. I don't think it takes an expert's opinion to say that filming is quite impossible (unless you like air traffic and sirens added to your soundtrack) if the stage doors remain open. We'd also posit that an entire crew wouldn't be paid to 'hang-out' if, say, rehearsals were being held in some production office on the lot. No Lohan on Monday is our verdict.

Lohan: M.I.A. a/o: 9:30am