Atlantic Highlands: Film One Fest Is The Newest Addition To The Film Festival Circuit!

To all budding Spielberg's/Michael Bays & Joe Pytkas, get yourself to the Atlantic Highlands Film Festival website to download your submission form...

The first annual Film One Fest will be held in Atlantic Highlands, New Jersey
on July 18th at an outdoor summertime screening alongside the town's picturesque marina. Seastreak fast ferry service (to-and-from Manhattan in under 40 minutes!) will be available to festival goers.






There are categories for established filmmakers (as well as students) and topics will cover everything from local history... to narrative... animation... and experimental.



There are several things that will distinguish The Film One Fest from the rest of the festival circuit (including its stunning outdoor location) including the requirement that all films be no longer than one minute in running time-- a creative challenge for any -- and all -- storytellers!












Organizers are still seeking sponsors and can be contacted at: http://filmonefest.org.

L.A.'s Newest Hotspot: A Volcano Is Brewing. Maybe.

A patch of land in Ventura County -- near the tranquil town of Fillmore -- has seen the ground heat-up to an astounding 812 degrees!

This has happened five or six times since at least 1987, with the latest occurrence of smoke pouring from cracks in the ground as recently as last Friday. The event continues to puzzle firefighters and geologists after a month and a half of monitoring.

While there are no flames, firefighters cleared dry brush and created a 30 foot containment line surrounding the smoking hole.








Geologists who surveyed the area (in a part of the old Sespe Oil Field), are unclear what's causing the heat-- but they have a theory:

The area is an active landslide that has trapped hydrocarbons generally found in petroleum products. As the surface cracks, oxygen creeps in and causes a naturally occurring combustion.

The 812-degree temperature was only a foot below the surface.

The LA Times reports that the 3,000-acre Sespe Oil Field was, "...discovered in 1887 and has since produced about 50 million barrels of oil. The field contains more than 300 oil wells." 210 of the well sites remain active.

Always willing to turn tabloid, Hollywood Thoughts offers a couple of other possibilities: If the geologist's landslide theory isn't rock solid, perhaps we're witnessing the long discussed nightmare (some would call it a dream) of California cracking in half to slide into the sea... or maybe this is birth of a baby volcano and the folks of Fillmore are about to repeat the fate of Pompeii's populace?!? Stay tuned...

Matt Kemp: The Dodger's Goodwill Ambassador

A Hollywood Thoughts sighting in Hollywood...

Matt Kemp, the promising young Dodger outfielder, was spotted paying his bill at the local Roscoe's Chicken eatery (with his model-beautiful) girlfriend, when he was approached by a group of 'tweener baseball fans for a chance at an autograph and a snapshot.













Kemp was immediately approachable and posed for pictures and signed for every kid gathered around him.

In a world where most celebs would opt to tip one back, we give a tip of the cap to Kemp.

Disneyland's House of the Future: Shoulda Been Sponsored By The Aaron Brothers 1c Frame Sale!

In a word, here's my review of the new Innoventions House of Tomorrow:

Bleccch!

What a disappointment.

I wrote back in February that I felt the "house" should have been a freestanding structure-- like its 1960's precursor. Constructing a "house" inside the existing "Innoventions" exhibit hall (basically, a stripped-down trade fair for new Disney-themed video games) is simply not magical... or fun. With it's movie-set fake walls, there's no real way for an individual to allow their imagination to believe they are in a real 'house of the future' (at least not in the way you could with the park's original version).



Today's HOTF feels more like you're on the floor of some cut-rate house decoration convention.

Where's tomorrow's microwave oven or videophones??!!?? Sadly, there is VERY LITTLE in the way of blue-skying tomorrow's techno-advancements. Most of what is seen are tiny increments of existing hardware (as in: you'll see this in stores by Christmastime).



And what about those picture frames??!!??



Honestly-- is this the best piece of technology the Imagineers could muster? It must be, as the joint is OVERFLOWING with digital picture frames!

How close to the bottom of the technology barrel are you scraping when you decide to feature gadgets that can be bought for $19.99 at your local Rite Aid??!!?? Aaron Brothers Art Mart missed a great opportunity to sponsor this, ahem, attraction.

Day One, and it's already the 'House of 2001.'

Aside from the smart refrigerator (and the recipe-on-the-kitchen-countertop), there 'aint much future packed into this joint's fake walls.



The HOTF is a GREAT idea-- it's just that this version needs more time on the drawing boards.

Disney's California Adventure Extreme Makeover: No Better Blues

Disney announced plans today to try and improve on their under-performing second gate, Disney's California Adventure. The press release describes what the Burbank gang is planning for the former Disneyland parking lot...

Things don't appear to be getting any better. And they're spending over a billion dollars on the improvements.

To my way of thinking, they've made the announcement too soon-- there's an awful lot of half-baked ideas in that official statement.

Put another way, if this is the best they've got (with the exception of the mentioned "Cars Land"), we're all in store for Dismal California Adventure, version 2.



They've announced that they are building a "Unique Nighttime Spectacular" water show that, "...features colorful lighting." You've GOT to be kidding me. How very... um... 1973.

The not-on-anyone's-travel-agenda tortilla-and-bread-making plant remains??? REALLY? The one part of the park you could roll-a-grenade-through-and-not-hit-a-soul (kids, don't try this at home), remains largely intact?!? Who the heck is doing their research?? Who in their right mind spends 66 bucks to watch a machine flatten corn meal?!? Am I alone here? I'm thinking, 'where's my mine train ride through the grizzly mountain?' and Disney president, Bob Iger is giving me maize.



HOLLYWOOD PICTURES BACKLOT: They wanna hold workshops with writers and directors. Wow. Plastic folding chairs in an overheated conference room and a tacky dais of your favorite (but never heard of them before) Desperate Housewife staff scribes. So now DCA is the biggest, most fun version of The Learning Tree Annex. Is this release for real? Did Iger read this pap before it was released? It sounds like a mid-level publicist wrote this drivel before it had the chance of being reviewed by Head Imagineer Bob Weis, Pixar and Imagineering Guru John Lasseter OR Iger. This whole document comes across like a boring travel pamphlet published by a podunk chamber of commerce.

I wince when Iger invokes Walt's name-- I don't believe their intent is true. In fact, I think it is an indicator that WDI is still grasping for TRUE solutions to an underwhelmed public response to DCA, and using the iconic Disney name like a salve to cover the lack of ideas.



The bottom line is that DCA is too "off the shelf"-- not enough unique "DISNEY" ideas to ride approaches. What I'm seeing in this release is the mention of a lot of shops and restaurants, and not enough (except as stated above, regarding CARS LAND) fun and innovative attractions.

GOLDEN STATE: Sounds unchanged. Read the release, you'll agree with me.

PREVIEW CENTER: As a kid I LOVED seeing models of "Discoveryland" and other proposed projects from WDI. That said, I fail to see how a small storefront crammed with posterboard models will drive ticket sales to 15 million. Hey, I kid... but is the best idea they have to "fix" an entire themed land?

Lastly, where was any mention of John Lasseter? Neither the LA Times, the Disney release or today's Wall Street Journal column mentioned him-- and he's for all intents and purposes, guiding this re-do.



Iger is known in some Hollywood camps for being an very affable -- yet not so creative -- guy. Without John Lasseter's hand -- a true storyteller & creative force in the mold of Walt Disney -- the project is up a creek.

I get the impression that the creative teams have a long way to go before they plunge the first shovel into the soil. If they move too quickly, today's press release indicates that Disney is about to make another big blunder in the old parking lot.

When Good Pluto Goes Bad

Check this out...

Pluto Fight

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Clearly, the kid has done something to seriously piss-off Pluto.

The probably-pimpled-teen in the costume is moving at full throttle-- WAY too fast to be moving safely in that dense of a crowd. Imagine the premium Disney would be paying if Pluto had mowed-over an innocent bystander.

For some who might be thinking this is an act, I say, this is no act. Chasing a kid doesn't make for good theatre. Except on Halloween. When the brats are tee-peeing your front yard.

No matter how badly a kid acts towards a character, there's no justifying this sort of reaction. Face it: giant mice and upright walking dogs are role models for our kids. Resorting to physical intimidation isn't the way you solve a problem. Especially if you're a big, furry dog.

You wonder what would have happened if the enraged Pluto actually collared the kid? How traumatic would it have been for some of the smaller kids to have witnessed an enraged Pluto doing a beat-down on the scamp?

Disneyland Confirms Attraction To Close

Hollywood Thoughts ran into Ed Grier-- the 51 year-old president of Disneyland -- the other day...

In our brief conversation, Grier officially confirmed the rumors of the imminent destruction of Tom Sawyer Island's Fort Wilderness attraction (recently renamed, Pirate's Lair on Tom Sawyer's Island). As Hollywood Thoughts reported last month, the wooden fort -- designed, in part, by Walt Disney -- will be replaced by a stone fortress similar in style to the one found in the Pirates of the Caribbean battle scene.

When asked if the fort would be re-opened to the public and feature a pirate themed stunt show (as rumors have suggested), Grier said, "No-- it'll be used for storage and a backstage break area for cast members." When we pressed that this would be a loss for the kids (remember climbing up to the fort's shotgun lookouts to peg passing canoe paddlers?), we were told the change was necessary to fill a need for a critical lack of "backstage" space for staff.

There have been unofficial internet posts that suggest demolition work has already begun-- but that they have stalled because of asbestos found in the fort's fifty-one year-old structure.

Grier is a 26-year Disney veteran who oversaw the company's operations of Tokyo Disney Resort before being named President of the Disneyland Resort in 2006.

Donald Trump Saving The Lives Of Party Girls!

In one of those Life-Is-Stranger-Than-Fiction moments, Hollywood Thoughts takes notice of Donald Trump's partnership with FOX on a new reality project called Lady or a Tramp.

The idea is simple: party girls are sent to charm school and then judged on their ability to reform themselves.

Here's the actual casting call posted on the internet last week for Trump's new show:

"Casting for a new network reality competition
series is looking for younger women who are
18-30, love to party and full of attitude.
The premise of the show is to take these
rude and crude party girls, and with proper
etiquette training turn them into Ladies.
If this describes you or someone you know,
send an email with name, age, contact numbers,
a detailed description of yourself or the person
you are nominating and why they would be great
for the show and a photo to Brenda Della Casa at:
creativelolita@gmail.com."

Hello?!!? Anyone else out there find this sorta... um, twisted?!?

Didn't Donald find enough satisfaction in setting party girl/ Miss USA Tara Conner back onto the straight-and-narrow? Now he's taking-on all of the nation's bad girls? Isn't the incessant chatter over Paris, Lindsay and Britney enough? What's the new catchphrase? "Take your kegger-- you're fried"???

One can only hope experts in this field, Rick and Kathy Hilton, will be a part of the makeover team...

Sopranos Final Episode...

... Sucked.

No, your HBO feed didn't go on the fritz, it was just (show creator) David Chase's cruddy ending.

Wait! There was no ending. Just a blank screen. With no sound.

I might be wrong on this one, but I think I know why the guy has only written and directed one other episode (the pilot). He's the George Lucas of the small screen: great on the BIG idea-- not so good with the specific details (structure & dialogue).

The run-up to the final episode has been wonderful... but, boy, what a let down the final hour turned out to be-- completely disjointed and totally unsatisfying.

Yeah, I got the message: we should remember the good times... and life goes on. Blah, blah, blah. Give me the Dallas "It-Was-Only-A-Dream" series finale-- I think I prefer it as the most satisfying-of- the-unsatisfying of cop-out endings.

Chase has been clear that he hates TV's normal storytelling techniques.

NOTE TO DAVID CHASE:

It's never good to piss-off your audience. Us "groundlings" out here prefer our stories with a beginning, middle and end. It's satisfying. It's good structure. It's what keeps us returning... and keeps you on the air.

Paris Hilton Busts Out Of The Hollywood Hills!

A shot of Paris Hilton leaving the Sheriff's new "Kings Road Detention Facility," high above the Sunset Strip.

Paris Hilton Get Out Of Jail Card: Lee Baca

Hollywood Thoughts bets that we'll hear Sheriff Lee Baca try to justify his decision to spring the celebutard because of county jail overcrowding.

Lame.

While the Sheriff has a good argument for obtaining funds to build more jails (so the crooks aren't going free), the bigger message being sent is: When you've got the dough, you're free to go.

For anyone that hasn't heard: The most recent account has Hilton's shrink convincing Baca to release Paris because she was on the edge of a breakdown (Sure. She's the first person incarcerated in L.A.'s Twin Towers to have ever felt that way). How soon 'til some con files a lawsuit over being someone's bee-yaatch or a bout of the night sweats...???

Paul McCartney Makes Kissy Face

Hollywood Thoughts just took a stroll into the local Starbucks with the creator of the website Tabloid Baby, when we were confronted by this picture:



Is there anything more pitiful than a sixty five year-old icon making a pouty kissy face?

The Germans have schadenfreude to describe pleasure derived from someone else's misfortune, but does a word or phrase exist that adequately describes the pucker factor you get from someone else's embarrassing actions???

This shot, by the way, is posted in every Starbucks around the world to promote Maca's new album, "Memory Almost Full."

Join the first ever Hollywood Thoughts contest to create such a word by hitting the comment button below...

:::

This is our 75th post! Thanks to Guy Blake, Esq. for the inspiration.

"Finding Nemo" Submarine Ride: A Sneak Peek!

Spoiler Alert-- stop reading if you don't want to discover the secrets of the new ride!

The following peek is for our land-locked readers unable to make the trek to Disneyland anytime soon to see the park's latest "E-ticket" attraction.

Hollywood Thoughts got a spot on-board the newly renovated subs as a part of an industry premiere this past Saturday night (the press preview is tomorrow, Wednesday, June 6th... and the ride opens to the general public on Monday, June 11th).

The sub attraction originally debuted in 1959, but has been mothballed for nearly a decade-- so it was an oddly familiar feeling climbing down the sub's twisting stairwell; a true time machine for a favorite ride of my L.A. childhood.

We had two rides that lasted approximately 12 minutes each. The subs themselves are largely the same-- only minor tweaks to the exteriors (a different shaped skipper's "sail"), and all of the craft have lost their gray paint scheme to share a bright yellow livery.



The inside cabin sports a wire-mesh lining that houses a new sound system that keeps the water-bound action in synch with the view of each rider's individual porthole. The re-jiggered subs accommodate two additional passengers-- and the biggest change involves the installation of electric motors. No more nauseous gas fumes filling the interior from the old diesel engines.



For The Record:

The fleet of nine subs allowed the Disney theme parks to boast that they were the world's eighth largest "navy."

Some Things Never Change:

Yes, you still sail through a curtain of bubbles to make your first "dive" into deep waters. First stop? The film's Darla character (the dentist's bratty brace-faced niece) in scuba gear bagging an unfortunate little fish.



The subs still have a narrator in the form of the skipper and his (now female) first mate-- both sporting breezy Aussie accents.

The storyline quickly shifts to include a view of undersea vents... volcanoes... and an ancient "lost" civilization. Both times through this section we had slow downs-- including one full stop. I later spoke to a cast member who confided that the boat drivers still "needed practice"-- hence the unscheduled delay. The subs are on tracks, but each "driver" controls the speed of your ride (I guess busy days might result in a slightly faster trip).

In truth, the "ancient ruins" are the weakest portion of the journey-- the art direction seems thin. Pretty soon, though, the ride earns itself an "E Ticket" value for its technical bling factor.

The gang at Disney Imagineering has the entire animated cast of "Finding Nemo" joining -- via high-definition video projection -- each sub along its journey-- and it's a pretty impressive effect.



The animation techniques used on "Nemo" are not new-- but they are employed in an incredibly fresh staging. Additionally, the structure of the ride (and it up-to-date sound system) allows for "Nemo" to be one of the few attractions (aside from Star Tours) to employ a true storyline with dense -- but easily tracked -- dialogue.

The ride is packed with action: there are explosions... sub eating whales... snaggly-toothed sharks... shipwrecks... and deadly explosive mines.

Yes, there are several "old school" underwater animatronic figures (scuba divers, chomping eels, a forest of jelly fish, blue whales and swimming sea turtles) with the rote movements of their 1950's predecessors. The new animated figures come into play once the subs enter the lagoon's covered "cave."



Hollywood Thoughts has learned that inside the "cave," the subs are separated from the animated characters by a giant wall of invisible plexiglass. Behind the plexiglass -- in the center of the cave -- exists a "dry" control room where the various characters are hi-def images projected onto glass to give the impression that Nemo & Company are swimming alongside the sub's portholes. Set pieces - also in the dry environment -- mimic those placed near the sub to heighten the illusion that all of the action occurs underwater. Pay attention to the "lava flow" scene. GREAT STUFF that'll leave you shaking your head in respect of the imagineer's efforts!

Some other stand-out scenes:

A hyper-realistic recreation of the film's shipwreck scene where Nemo first meets Bruce the shark. The underwater lighting and art direction here is fantastic-- and creepy. You won't believe how much depth there is to this location.

It's also fun watching Dorrie (the Ellen DeGeneres character) bounce around a massive forest of jelly fish (a nice use of mirrors) and trying "whale speak" (yes, we get swallowed by one-- though this effect doesn't really work since our "exit" isn't represented in an anatomically correct fashion. I'll let you figure that one out). There's also a vibrating run through a field of explosive mines. Less impressive is the depiction of Crush the turtle's less-than-wild-ride on the EAC (Eastern Australian Current).

Hollywood Thoughts can't confirm this, but it doesn't seem that Ellen DeGeneres or Albert Brooks actually reprise their (voice) roles for the ride.

Look for a tip of the hat to the old ride's sea monster-- he's towards the end of the run and now a permanent part of the surrounding corral reef.

The Bottom Line:

"Nemo" physically straddles the boundry between Disneyland's Tomorrowland and Fantasyland... and this latest version of the popular ride is the perfect metaphor for a part of the park that represents both technology and imagination.



6/6: NEMO UPDATE:

To help with the expected crush of summer crowds, Disney has just announced that beginning June 11th, the day the subs resurface, guests will be allowed to join the queue until official park closing-- with the subs will continuing their voyages for up to 2 1/2 hours after park closing. While in line, guests will also be armed with a special Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage activity guide to aid them in search of “Hidden Nemos."

The park is also debuting Nemo-themed food creations, such as a snack pack with cheddar fish crackers mixed with an “East Australian Crunch,” popcorn buckets, cupcakes, and apple juice throughout Tomorrowland.

:::

On Other Fronts:


Hollywood Thoughts reliable sources indicate that Fort Wilderness on Tom Sayer's Island will be demolished in the next several weeks. Its "foot print" will remain, but in the place of a WOODEN fort, a STONE one -- similar to the version found inside the Pirates of the Caribbean battle scene -- will rise.

There's a chance this space will become a storage facility for the "Fantasmic!" river show, but there's also a possibility that a small store and some sort of pirate stunt show will come to exist at this location.

Pirate Premiere = No Lines At Disneyland

Soon after arriving at Disneyland this past Saturday afternoon (2pm), I encountered a sign that said the park would be closing at 5pm. At this time of the year, the park is normally open 'til midnight-- why such a short day?!?

What to do??? Turn around and make the long hike back home?

How does a Dad explain to his three year-old that Disneyland is a 'no-go'-- especially after a week's worth of hype-talk?



Like a dork, I had accidentally plopped us smack dab in the center of the world premiere for the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie. The early closing time was to accommodate the red carpet arrivals (the film would unspool on a giant, temporary, screen built at the foot of Tom Sawyer's Island).





The place looked crowded, but I decided to proceed with caution. Main Street was clogged with thousands of fans and dozens-and-dozens of TV crews. I was immediately in a tail-spin: the whole day looked like it was going to be a huge mess. Big, pushy crowds. Tight squeezes past the sun baked mobs and TV gear... and Disney's rope nazis with their non-stop, full-throated war chants ("Stay to the right, folks! Keep moving! Keep MOVING, people!). In my experience, big crowds never make for great memories at the Happiest Place On Earth.


Boy, was I wrong!

Bless the Pirate fans! Most of the bodies in the park were all clumped along Main Street waiting to eyeball a celeb. Meanwhile... Fantasyland, Toontown and Tomorrowland were mostly empty pieces of real estate. Overall, the park was lightly attended because -- I think -- of its shortened hours. Those in attendance were, as I said, gathered mostly 'round the red carpet.



In just a short time, we visited the following rides:



Peter Pan; Snow White; Pinocchio; Mr. Toad; Dumbo; Casey Jr. train; Storybook Canal Boats; Alice In Wonderland;
It's A Small World; Roger Rabbit's Car-toon Spin; Minnie Mouse House; Mickey Mouse Film Barn; Goofy's House; Donald's Tug Boat; Peter Pan (a second time around!); Autopia (TWICE-- we never had to get out of the car!); The Monorail; Tomorrowland Rocket Ride and Star Tours.

Wow! An all time high for us: 20 rides in a single visit. A perfect day for a toddler-- all because of a few pirates.

Saturday's crowds had to be among the smallest I have seen -- in terms of the length of lines for attractions -- in nearly three years. The "perfect storm" was stalled over Main Street, while it was smooth sailing on the 'east side' of the park.



As a side note, I never ventured near Main Street's crowds again until nearly 8:15pm (where I almost got knocked over by Maria Shriver & Arnold's HUGE (30+ folks) entourage.

While I cannot fathom waiting in the hot sun for nearly 16 hours (many people arrived at Disneyland around 4:30am!) to spot a celeb on a red carpet, I heard from MANY folks that the stars were VERY generous in signing autographs and posing for pictures with fans-- good for them!



Two final thoughts:

There's a new onslaught of pirates coming to Disneyland: this Friday (the 25th), Tom Sawyer's Island will officially be re-christened as, "Pirate's Lair on Tom Sawyer's Island." Rumors indicate that a second phase will be completed on the island sometime next year-- with the hand constructed lincoln-log style "Fort Wilderness" being torn down-- possibly to house a pirate stunt show. The speculation has the park's devotees in an uproar: Tom Sawyer's Island is considered the "Holy of Holies" as it is the only attraction personally designed -- top-to-bottom -- by the hand of Walt Disney.



Lastly, the new "Finding Nemo" attraction (at the site of the former submarine ride) is just two weeks away from its grand opening. The subs were undergoing testing on Saturday, and the buzz indicates a new form of animation that allows some of the film's characters to "follow" along the sub's portholes during the "undersea" adventure. Remember the overwhelming stink of diesel when you pressed your nose up against the glass? That's a memory of the past: the new subs are all electric. Catch the OLD subs here.

Britney Spears Has A Shaved Head & A New Tattoo

Honestly, with a headline like that, I don't think there's much more to say.

But why do I care? I don't... except that all of this happened not much more than 500 feet from my backdoor.

See, when I came home tonight, there were twenty to thirty photographers lurking in the alley across from my garage door. I soon found out they were paparazzi stalking Ms. Brit who was inside the slightly tattered buzz-parlor known as "Body + Soul."

Hey, a celebutard right in my backyard. Literally.

I decided to take a look. Who cares if the hot turkey melt I just picked-up from the Mel's Diner would be reduced to a congealed mess of gouda on cold poultry meat? I smelled a story... and I JUST HAD to be an investigative reporter for my readership.



I went around to the front of the place, and was quickly engulfed by a mob of nearly a hundred twenty-somethings. But, LOOK! There she is! I spotted my quarry: a now bald-headed, trash talking, newly inked mother-of-two. Ooops, she just did it again.

Who the hell is watching after the kids while Mama is running around without panties or hair??!!??

Ah, hell... at least the new 'do has Brit's carpet matching her drapes. If you know what I mean.

With her wrist newly etched with a pair of red lips, and a completely cut down pate, she definitely looks like the type that would man the drive-thru next to Kevin whats-his-name on the fry machine* (*please review the Federline Super Bowl commercial if you're having a tough time following the line of thought here). Maybe she was celebrating her one day of sobriety after her short -- but successful? -- stint in rehab.



Bottom line? Well, let's just say I don't quite understand people that still wonder why home values are slipping here in the 'hood...

Cinderella Suite Sounds Sweet!

If you've ever dreamed of actually spending the night inside a Disney theme park, your wish has just come true. It's a part of Disney's "The Year of a Million Dreams" campaign.



Unused space within Orlando's Cinderella castle -- originally envisioned as in-park accommodations for the Disney family -- has been transformed into a "Cinderella Castle Suite." Each day, a specially selected Walt Disney World guest will be chosen randomly at the park for their special night in the newly outfitted (17th century-style) penthouse.



The guest (and up to five members of their party) can keep the castle lights burning bright into the night inside the suite that consists of a salon, bedchamber and bathroom (off a private marble-floored foyer).





Guests will discover a mosaic of the fairytale pumpkin coach in the foyer's marble floor inlay-- as well as a Steuben designed glass slipper.



A Disney press release states that despite all the
careful attention to centuries-old details, "...the
amenities of the Cinderella Castle Suite are
definitely 21st century. There's a lavish garden tub
plus a shower. As for an ornately framed,
17th-century-style portrait of Cinderella above a
regal fireplace in the bedchamber: it magically
changes into a modern, 21st-century flat-screen
television."





As for guests to California's Disneyland park? The company has outfitted a special Mickey Mouse themed room at the Disneyland Hotel (outside of the magic kingdom).

Hollywood Thoughts wonders how long 'til a randy Prince and Princess are caught canoodling on a castle turret by early arrivals to the park?!?

Judith Regan Is A Victim

I can't stand hearing the media pap excoriating Judith Regan for her role in the now "lost" O.J. Simpson project.

It's all a load of bull. More to the point, the ruckus is nothing more than whining and professional jealousy.

The nation's news outlets were all stung by Regan's amazing "get."

Does anyone truly believe that the media cares this much about safeguarding the public's sensitivity-- or is in a position to judge matters of taste?

If that's the case, where's the outcry over the latest Charlie Manson interview? How about the first sit-down with the Menendez brothers?



Now that Regan has been pushed-out of her Century City offices, I see that the New York Times no longer views Simpson's description of the murder scene as out-of-bounds. Curious.

I guess printing a leaked transcript of a book that no longer exists adds a gauzy layer of acceptability for the old gray lady. Curious.

Does anyone reading this know of someone that was truly offended by the announced, "If I Did It" project? I don't. Yet, if you read or listened to the daily dribble concerning the Regan/Murdoch firestorm, you would have walked away feeling that every citizen living in a blue or red state was moved to a vibrating fury over the "tasteless" Simpson project.

Who was outraged? Again, I don't know a single person that was upset over the impending printing. Natch-- I strongly suspect the only ones "outraged" were a bunch of angry -- and jealous -- news suits.

Regan's biggest problem is that she's upset a long list of folks who are envious over her success. This was their 'get back' moment. It's a shame we're still endorsing book burnings in this day and age. It would have been interesting to see how outrageous book sales would have been.

Regan's been a victim before, but she won't remain one for long.

Who Needs "Dancing With The Stars"?

Here's a little something from our friends at You Tube.

I don't know about you, but all of us at Hollywood Thoughts are getting a wee bit bored by Mario, Jerry and Emmitt over at DWTS-- and this seems to be the perfect tonic.

Hooray for Bollywood! Enjoy.

The Future Of Historic Columbia Square

Hollywood Thoughts recieved some interesting feedback regarding our story on the future of the historic Columbia Square property at the corner of Sunset and Gower (current home of KCBS and KCAL).

First, councilman Eric Garcetti, states his position on the fates of the CBS and Palladium buildings... and the rumors of their imminent demise:

"I can assure you that is neither the plan for the folks that just bought CBS (while their plan is not set, they know that they cannot tear down CBS and are willing to work within that requirement), nor are these two properties tied together. I have insisted that the Palladium, CBS buildings, and Nickelodeon sites all remain with any new construction done around them and everyone seems to be clear working within these parameters. I know the gossip meters have been talking about these buildings getting torn down every few months in the five years since I have been in office, but the residential and more importantly office/production spaces are in high demand in Hollywood right now, so I believe we are in good shape."

Then, from Brian Lewis of Marathon Communications-- a representative of Columbia Square's new owners, Molasky Pacific:

"...I just wanted to set you straight on what’s really being considered for that site. There are absolutely no plans to raze the facility. In fact, the centerpiece of the development being contemplated for the site is the renovation of historic Columbia Square. Details of the plan will be finalized soon, but rest assured they will include the reuse of Columbia Square. We are currently working with community stakeholders to refine that plan, which we hope to announce early next year."

Hollywood Thoughts hopes they'll carve-out space for live theatre instead of simply adding another Jamba Juice to the 'hood. Maybe a cool, independent bookseller? How about a small radio studio -- visible from the street -- as a nod to the building's origins?

We'll be watching... and hoping.

Christmas In October

Yeegawds!

The giant, electric light Christmas tree has risen atop the Hollywood Capitol Records building.

Why?!? WHY?!? W-H-Y?!?

Look, we all know retailers start celebrating Valentine's Day on New Year's... Halloween crap now hits the shelf the same week the kids head back to school... but Christmas while everyone's still making plans on where to trick-or-treat???

I know that it's silly for me to hope that we can return to the days where all the Christmas goo-gaws don't get placed in the store windows until Thanksgiving, but, c'mon... give us a break.



By-the-way, in the spirit of giving (or would it be monkey-see-monkey-do?), the Hollywood Rite Aid at Sunset and Gower officially unveiled their ceramic "Miniature Christmas Town" collection this afternoon. Get yourself a tiny house... stable... or toy store for $14.99. Or show some restraint and hold-out 'til the traditional day-after-Thanksgiving-Christmas- doo-dad price drop.

Check it out. On Aisle Three.



:::

Update: The Christmas tree was aglow on Wednesday evening (10/18), but off last night (Thurs., 10/19). This begs the question: did we witness a lighting test???

The New CBS Parking Lot

A prominent on-air news personality has told Hollywood Thoughts that the old CBS Columbia Square facility at Sunset and Gower will most likely be razed, and then rebuilt as a parking lot structure for the upcoming Palladium redevelopment project.

According to the National Trust's website, the Los Angeles Conservancy is, "...working with city officials to find a new purpose for Columbia Square. The good news is that since the building is classified as a historic resource for a Hollywood redevelopment plan, it can't be demolished without an environmental-impact review conducted first.

Situated on the former site of Los Angeles' very first movie studio, Nestor Film Company, the William Lescaze-designed structure already had a past when it was built in 1938. The pilot for "I Love Lucy" was filmed in the eight-studio facility and James Dean ushered there."

Yeah, well... we know how those environmental-impact studies go.

Milton Bradley's New Game

From the wonderful L.A. Observed website, a post about Milton Bradley-- the troubled and anger-prone former L.A. Dodger outfielder:

"They love Milton Bradley in Oakland. He had a
much more enjoyable time with the A's this year
than he ever did alongside Jeff Kent in the
Dodgers clubhouse. Dodger fans would probably be
surprised to learn that after the A's playoff
loss to the Tigers this weekend, San Francisco
Chronicle columnist Bruce Jenkins singled
out Bradley as Oakland's leader in guts and
clubhouse class..."

Here is a part of the Chronicle's article on the new & improved Milton Bradley:

"One of baseball's toughest men was moved
to tears. Sitting at his locker, a towel draped
over his head, Milton Bradley had been crying.
His eyes were blood-red as he finally turned to
face the media. He handled a most difficult
interview session the way he handled the
American League Championship Series -- intensely,
professionally, without fear.

As much as he tried, Frank Thomas could
not carry Oakland through this series. In a
sea of futility, on a team coming to life
only in the final, desperate moments, Bradley
took the responsibility upon himself.
Along the way, he became more of a man. He
found his most pleasurable experiences, by
far, in a baseball uniform. To have all that,
and to have given his best in defeat, moved
the man to tears....

"I just feel I was made for this,"
Bradley said through those reddened eyes.
"The pressure. Giving it all you have. It
was such a great ride. Most fun I've
ever had in baseball. Best team I've ever
been with. Maybe someday I'll smile, and be
happy, over having
played well. Right now, it hurts."

L.A. Observed finishes their post by saying:

"The Dodgers should be kicking themselves
for not finding a way to help Bradley take
this step forward here in his hometown."













If memory serves correct, Hollywood Thoughts recalls that the Dodgers DID send Mr. Bradley to anger management courses. While L.A. Observed is probably suggesting that the Dodger organization might have been better served by not giving-up on Bradley so soon, it raises a bigger question:

Since when is it a ball club's responsibility to help form, rehab and/or makeover a player's personality?

That's the job of the man himself. Parents, family, friends, loved ones and influential teachers can have a hand in shaping a person during their formative years... but his employer???

C'mon. Let's get real.

If you or I have too many sick days for a stupid head cold, the boss is probably calling H.R. to arrange the "exit" paperwork. An employer pays you to do a job. Period.

Unless your contract states the home office is supposed to bail you out of jail... hire an army of bodyguards to keep you from running into the stands and beating the snot out of a fan... or keep you from becoming a drag on everyone in the dugout, you're outta luck.

Here's the odd reality: the Dodgers probably DID play a role in the re-make of Milton Bradley.

When they fired him.

Like an alcoholic, Milton Bradley probably needed to hit bottom before he could find the strength to effect a change in his habits. His temper had already made him damaged goods when he landed in Los Angeles, and his firing from the Dodgers put him on notice that his big league career was on it's final legs. Unless he straightened-up.

Fast.

Believe me, I'm happy at the news out of Oakland. It's good knowing that the name Milton Bradley means playing games is fun again...

Disney Lawyers Shut Down Mickey Mouse Internet Porn Flick

First there was the infamous Carmen Miranda pantyless pix...

Then flash forward to Pammy and Tommy's escapades on the Lake Havasu Love Boat.

























Paris Hilton.




















Then, the market on celebutard sex videos seemed to hit bottom with the disclosure that Saved By The Bell's "Screech" had his own Dirty Sanchez Sex Vid.















And now, this...

Mickey Mouse -- revealed as a philandering, cuckolded rodent -- has joined the ranks of a celeb with his own... um... sex tape.

The "Disney Orgy" video posted only 24 hours ago on YouTube has been taken down-- most likely by order of Disney lawyers.

Well here it is, via iFilm. Take a peek at the video that the Disney lawyers don't want you to see.

If watching cartoon characters having sex is your thing...

Mouse Swap At After Hours Disney Swing Joint

This clip first came to our attention from the cutting-edge website, Tabloid Baby.

Normally we don't pilfer from our friends, but Hollywoood Thoughts realizes this is something that needs to be shared.

Watch the video shot deep within the bowels of Disneyland Paris, and then continue reading...





What's most startling is the lack of eye-to-eye contact between Goofy and Minnie and Mickey and the snow-MAN (do snow-WOMEN exist?). Does this mean the characters from The Happiest Place on Earth have issues with intimacy?

The tape raises so many questions!

Why is Mickey with a snowman? We're looking for a possible metaphor here (cold heart?).

Captain Hook remains an onlooker. Voyeur... or insecure in the role of "swordsman" because of his physical disability?

Why does Minnie not reciprocate Goofy's furtive attempts at foreplay? Is Mickey put-off by the non-stop schoolgirl giggling?

Is Mickey a contented cuckold?!?

Where the hell's the duck? Probably off in some Tomorrowland S/M dungeon...

Why hasn't TMZ broken this story?

The rote, mechanical lovemaking makes one wonder if there is there no more love between the four-fingered folks in the Magic Kingdom.

Uncle Walt must be spinning in his freezer.

Hollywood Landmark Spared. For Now.

In another sign that the Southern California real estate market has slowed down, Hollywood's Old Spaghetti Factory has been spared from the wrecker's ball.

As previously mentioned in Hollywood Thoughts back in February, the former Sunset boulevard Studebaker showroom was scheduled for demolition sometime after Labor Day to begin making way for a luxe condo project.

Like similar developments in Hollywood -- and Las Vegas -- where dozens of highrise retail/housing ventures have been halted, the Italian eatery will remain in-situ for at least the next eighteen months.

Sources indicated to Hollywood Thoughts that the banker's dollars went soft when other mixed-use projects saw their anchor tenants walking away from falling land values and a slow-moving Hollywood re-development.

One financial constant in all of this? An extra helping of pasta still only costs a single buck.

Disneyland's New Pirates of the Caribbean Ride

The recent addition of the 'Johnny Depp pirate' to the classic Pirates of the Caribbean attraction has opened a Pandora's box of problems that the Imagineers were apparently unable to see.

Our complete review tomorrow morning...

One 'Mo On L-Lo

One last Lohan posting...

Hollywood Thoughts has now had two face-to-face run-in's with the young actress. Both times we offered a cheerful greeting... and were met with a couple of scowls.

Hmmm. Diva with nasty manners... or did we simply manage to catch the tardy thespian with weighty matters on her mind? No matter. We're just reporting the facts.

Hollywood Thought's encounters took place last week, but we didn't feel compelled to report them until yesterday's Tom Cruise 'dismissal' from Paramount for his poor public performance.

The thought of the day seems to be that there's a breeze of refreshing honesty blowing through town, and it's carrying this message:

If you are a highly paid celeb in this day of shrinking markets, tightened budgets, and cutbacks, you need to throttle back on the boorish behavior. Your raised visability might give you a platform in front of the camera, but behind it sits a guy that's busy signing -- or ripping-up -- the paychecks.

It seems that this month James Robinson, Sumner Redstone and a certain sugar-titted Sheriff in Malibu are getting the final cut.













Welllll, OK... at least until they need Mel, Tom or Lindsay for their next Mel-Tom-Or-Lindsay-would-be-perfect-for-this-can't-miss project.

Last-last Lohan Thought: Hollywood Thoughts has asked several of the Georgia Rule crew if the set is operating in a timely manner since the super-scary-skinny Lohan received "The Letter," and the best response we've heard so far is, "If we start an hour behind, that's considered on time."

Way to get the crew behind you, L-Lo.

"Everybody Smile!"

Tinkled Pink

Hollywood Thoughts has come across a few shots that are purported to be of singer, Pink, ummm... ah... taking care of business in a parking lot.

I really hesitated when it came to publishing these shots for a number of reasons:

1). I've met Pink. She's a neighbor, and she puts-on one heck of a cool Halloween display for the kids. Why embarrass someone from the 'hood?

2). I can't be certain this is, in fact, Pink.

3).

There is no "#3."

In this case, literally, only a #1.

Sooo, I leave it to all of you to decide what purpose it serves -- if any -- to post these shots (or delete them).

Is there any value to knowing that celebs -- just like us -- can get caught whilst in the middle of what surely must have been a desperate moment (Please, God, don't let me discover this is a regular activity for Pink and her roadies)?

Maybe these shots can serve as a sort of cautionary tale (For the Tinkler: "Don't pee in public-- you might get caught." OR, for the casual parking lot stroller: "Watch where you step; ya never know when some chick might have peed where you're walking.").

One interesting observation that's been noted by other habitual P.L.P'ers (Parking Lot Pee'ers): Pink is employing the popular "Two Door Outdoor Commode" technique. Apparently by opening two doors on the same side of a car, the P.L.P'er is creating a sort of "mo-bile stall" in an effort to secure some sort of privacy. In this instance, Pink's efforts to create a temporary "modesty shield" was thwarted by a hidden paparazzi... but I'm told that the P.L.P. crowd gives the Philadelphia native points "for trying."

While this may not be as shocking as Mel Gibson's recent anti-semitic remarks, it surely makes Lohan's late-night karaoke routine look downright vanilla.

Cast your vote...

The Onion Is Coming! The Onion Is Coming!

There, before my eyes, a giant onion had sprouted where only yesterday a blank patch of pavement had existed.

Near the corner of Sunset & Gower an empty newspaper rack sits. No papers yet-- only a green paint job and the simple logo of 'America's Finest News Source.'

A visit to the Onion's website gives no indication of any forthcoming printed versions of the web favorite, but we can hope.

GOOD GIRL LOHAN???

Seems that maybe -- just maybe -- Lindsey's days of lollygagging on nasty couches surrounded by walls of driftwood are behind her... and that she's refocused her energies from karaoke (the dehydrating and exhaustion-making variety) to on-time filmmaking (BTW: Did L.L.'s team actually think this was a hot look? We can't help but think the couch was dusty, smelly and, ahem, soiled. Definitely not hot.).

Hollywood Thoughts noted yesterday that Ms. Lohan's black Mercedes-Benz Brabus E V-12 BiTurbo (price tag of anywhere between $170,000 - $355,000usd) was parked next to the dressing rooms. Further, Ms. Lohan was spotted by members of the Hollywood Thoughts team while she was wearing slippers (golden-hued and spun from silk. Or rayon. What do I know? I'm a GUY) and shaking-out her locks in the make-up trailer late yesterday afternoon.

As of 9:00am today, no Benz was spotted (and the doors to the stage were, once again, wide open). HOWEVER, the crew -- for the first time in a long time -- actually looked busy. No milling around, or teamsters lazing on the loading dock with a breakfast burrito. Everyone looked like they were actually engaged in making a movie.

Sources inform Hollywood Thoughts that this is a "...big day" for Ms. Lohan.

Can L.L. be lurking somewhere on the lot...? We'll keep an open eye for you.

:::

BTW: The LA Times reported on Tuesday that Lohan was on-set Monday morning. It would seem that they took their report directly from some publicists pap.

The doors to the stage, as Hollywood Thoughts reported, were wide-open all day long. I don't think it takes an expert's opinion to say that filming is quite impossible (unless you like air traffic and sirens added to your soundtrack) if the stage doors remain open. We'd also posit that an entire crew wouldn't be paid to 'hang-out' if, say, rehearsals were being held in some production office on the lot. No Lohan on Monday is our verdict.

Lohan: M.I.A. a/o: 9:30am

All weekend long the Hollywood Thoughts staff has been wondering what sight would await them upon returning to the studio on Monday morning...

Would the Georgia Rule crew be hard at work... or waiting around for their always-seems-be-missing starlet?

As of 9:30 ayem -- late for a movie set -- the crew sat around the outside of the stage munching morning treats.

By outward appearances, it seems getting a letter from studio head James Robinson didn't motivate the young lass to arrive any earlier.

Before word of the Lohan hubbub appeared in the press last week, Hollywood Thoughts had noticed that the set for Georgia Rule was unlike any other that had recently called the Sunset-Gower lot their home: this crew sat around idle. A lot.

Thanks to Robinson and The Smoking Gun, now we know why...

:::

2:30pm UPDATE:

No shooting going-on inside the soundstage today as the giant elephant doors are wide-open. A few crew electricians are returning from off-site lunches in private automobiles (a very rare occurrance)-- which makes you wonder if any filming is taking place if the crew can afford to leave the lot.

Goodwill To All Men*

Donating your used clothing to Goodwill -- or some other agency dedicated to helping the less-fortunate -- should make you feel good knowing that the clothes you previously wore are now gracing some grateful soul.

Cleaning-out your closets is a great way to give back to your community and help those who are less fortunate.

Many people only think of doing this when the weather gets cold and pass along the sweaters and coats they haven't worn for awhile... but there's also a great need for summer weather clothing.

With that in mind, Hollywood Thoughts passes along a photo that we recieved via e-mail that illustrates the point.

May it serve to remind all of you remind that your efforts won't go unappreciated... or unnoticed.

The Best Show On T.V.

If you're tired of watching non-stop coverage of bombs exploding in Israel and Lebanon, allow us to point you in the direction of some of television's most interesting -- and beautiful -- pictures this week: NASA TV.

But hurry... the show ends on Monday.

Since the Columbia disaster, NASA has rigged more cameras on the Shuttle orbiter than in any other time during the program's history. If you are a space geek or you just like watching the Earth spin far below, take a look at NASA TV.

I have NEVER seen so many interesting angles of the Earth... spacewalkers... or the shuttledoing giant loops in Earth orbit. There's more coverage of this trip than in a Michael Bay action film.


During one spacewalk this week, small cameras mounted on the helmets of the astronauts provided crystal clear images of the men working on the space station.

Talk about an 'up-close-and-personal-point-of-view.'

Even the banter from the astronauts is becoming less guarded and loaded with NASA-speak (Spacewalker: "Lemme give the airlatch a twist... ugh! This is a real mother to get closed.").


Can't get NASA TV? Don't fret-- just log on to NASA and take a look at some of their archived video clips. One of the most fascinating shots is from a camera mounted onto one of the shuttle's solid rocket boosters. The camera captures the neck-breaking moment that the orbiter blasts free of the launchpad gantry... and continues all the way to reaching the boundry of space. The moment of separation between the shuttle and the booster rocket is an absolutely incredible sight. Buck Rogers lives! We've come a long way since those grainy images of Neil and Buzz...

For the serious student of NASA-land, point your browser to another NASA website that allows you to view -- with your bare eyes -- the shuttle and International Space Station. I'm traveling this week, so I've seen the shuttle both in Los Angeles and high above New York City. This is probably the tenth or eleventh time I've done this, and I'm still amazed when I consider that I'm watching a small bit of humanity whizz over my head at 17,000 miles per hour.





This week you're reminded by the Shuttle's images that from two hundred miles up, borders are invisible... and the bigger picture becomes more clear.

Disneyland: Hidden Perspectives

Today we'll reveal a few hidden gems at the 'Happiest Place on Earth.' What all of these "finds" have in common are their unique views of -- and uncommon way to experience -- Disneyland.

Sometimes when you discover something special, it's followed by that typical (read: selfish) urge to keep it all to yourself.

Not so at Hollywood Thoughts.



OK, That's a lie. At first, we weren't going to share any of this, either. But in the interest of the greater good, we're gonna spill everything.

Whatever.

Make your way to the train station at the top of Main Street. When you push through the turnstile, ask one of the conductors if it's possible to take a 'tender ride.' Depending on shift changes, crew training, or the need to take-on water at the Frontierland station, you might just find yourself riding a small bench on the car directly behind the train's engineers.

These are real steam engine locomotives, folks, so the ride can get a bit toasty during the summer months... but the trip will be a one-of-a-kind experience. The crews are extremely friendly and will answer any of your questions about the trains.

Where else can you get that 'up close' view of the engineer ringing the bell and tugging the rope to make that familiar, "toot-toot" on the whistle? If you've got kids, this will be the ride of a lifetime that'll leave them saying, "Thomas, who?" Tender rides are only available from the Main Street station.

Disneyland, in fact, would have never been built were it not for the fact that Walt needed a place for his trains...



In the mid-1930's, Disney suffered a nervous breakdown and was urged by his doctors to develop a stress-relieving hobby that would take his mind off the pressures of running a studio. Walt was drawn to miniature trains and, in time, he built a miniature railroad system that filled his entire Holmby Hills backyard (he even tunneled under his wife's flower garden-- the first Disney 'dark ride' attraction!).

With his love of trains growing, Disney drew plans for a small, "Mickey Mouse Park" across the street from the Burbank studio (where the animation building now stands) that would include a closed-loop train ride. As plans for other rides grew, it quickly became apparent that more land would be needed.

Smash cut to breaking ground in Anaheim. The rest, as they say, is history.

If a tender ride isn't available, ask the Main Street conductors if it's possible to ride aboard the 'Lily Belle' caboose.

This car was completely refurbished in April, 2006 and is named after Walt's wife, Lillian. To get a ride is a real treat-- and a real step back in time. Plush red velvet couches line the warm cherrywood walls of the car. Victorian potted palms and delicate gold light fixtures complete the turn-of-the-last-century decor. Looking out the big picture windows as you chug around the river bend into the Frontierland 'forest,' you'll truly feel transported to a place from the past.

When you exit the train station, look for the double-decker bus. Hop on board, and climb to the top for a rare (low-flying) birds-eye view.














Pay attention to the second floor windows on the stores that line Main Street. Most of them are filled with the names of artists that contributed to the success of the Disney studio and theme parks.

The first name ever etched on a Main Street window was of Elias Disney; It was Walt's way of honoring his Dad.

Ready for the last tip?

Head over to Frontierland, and make your way to the Mark Twain steamboat.

Once you're on the dock, ask one of the employees for a ride in the Captain's wheelhouse. Once inside, they'll put you to work as you take-on most of the Captain's duties (don't get nervous-- the whole operation is on a submerged track).

Aside from being the guy tempting the dog with a bone in the 'Pirates' ride, we can't think of anything more cool than ringing the ship's bell or pulling the rope to blow the big steam whistle.

And whatta view!







PS: Don't forget to ask for the certificate commemorating your special voyage aboard the Mark Twain.

And, hey, do us all a favor, please... keep this stuff to yourself, OK?!?

Why Sayeth, "Bluetooth"?

Ever wonder why the the name 'Bluetooth' is applied to the system used to unite all sorts of wireless gadgets?



It comes from a Danish Viking and King named, Harald Blatand (long ago translated in english as 'bluetooth'). He lived in the tenth century and united (and controlled) Denmark and Norway. Hence the inspiration for the slogan, "uniting devices through Bluetooth."

The Cost of Being Catholic

Think the parking lot scandal at Hollywood & Highland is something? Read how Hollywood Thoughts may have accidentally uncovered how the Catholic church is recovering millions of dollars spent on legal fees for child abuse cases…

Being a good Aunt, my Wife decided to make the trip to downtown’s, Our Lady of the Angels cathedral to buy a gift for a nephew’s first communion (yes, like any of L.A.’s ‘themed’ venues, Cardinal Mahoney’s digs features a gift shop).

My Wife made her purchase, took our son on a small tour of the grounds, and lit a couple of candles for the dearly departed (two bucks a pop in case you’re considering a trip of your own).

A thought on the cathedral itself:


I don’t care for it. It reminds me of a U-Store-It joint on steroids. Sorta sad to think that they designed the place to stand for 500 years. I can only imagine the disappointment art historians-from-the-future will have when they uncover this uninspiring building.

Did I also mention how much I dislike the cathedral’s highly visible etched trumpeting-angels-on-glass? You’ve seen them—they’re above the freeway and look like a cheesy shower door appliqué.

I digress.











Back to my main point: My wife left the Cathedral after roughly two hours and headed for the underground parking lot. No, Cardinal Mahoney doesn’t validate (at least parking stubs--but perhaps he hands-out free back slaps and an, “Attaboy!” when your internal spirit is sagging).

Imagine my wife’s surprise when she discovered she owed the local archdiocese eighteen bucks for the pleasure of visiting the gift shop, and buying a couple of candles.

Yeah, eighteen bucks.

Now it can be said that the world finally knows the going rate for being a Catholic. If you’ve ever wondered how to calculate the cost of your faith on a minute-by-minute basis, the good Cardinal has the answer:

Three bucks for every twenty minutes.

How’d he arrive at that sum?

Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon Church, had himself a cool pen and breastplate to receive “The Word”— but maybe Mahoney only need look as far as Five Star Parking to get an answer for this age-old question regarding the earthly burden of faith.

There’s more-- and here’s where the fog of scandal descends upon our story of the Lady of the Angels…

When my wife told me how expensive it is to go to church, I did a little research. Parking at the cathedral costs three bucks for every twenty minutes— up to a maximum of $14 dollars.

We were overcharged by $4.

'Big deal,' you say? Sure, it’s a small amount for one person, but in the big picture you wonder how many other folks get scammed. A couple of bucks here and there adds up pretty quick-- just ask the city treasurer about the hundreds of thousands that are missing from their Hollywood lot.

One parking attendant’s honest mistake? Could be… but how hard is it to remember what the maximum charge is?

With legal fees in child abuse cases mounting each day, the mind wonders if a poor Cardinal’s gotta do what a poor Cardinal’s gotta do… ???

Monorail Ties Together L.A.'s Gems

Seeing that the NFL is still interested in doing business with the L.A. Coliseum, Hollywood Thoughts figured we'd throw-in our own two-cents on the whole shebang...

For a long while we've thought it would be a wise idea to create a 'golden triangle' of L.A.'s more interesting -- but less-utilized -- cultural and entertainment venues.

Specifically, we'd like to see an above-ground monorail built that would connect the L.A. Coliseum/ Natural History Museums to downtown's Broadway Street (home of the Million Dollar, Los Angeles and Orpheum movie palaces). Another spur could connect with the Convention Center (and the Staples Center Arena). Later extensions might link with the Music Center... LAX... or even Dodger Stadium. Eventually the whole project would be a way of uniting all of L.A.'s fun and interesting landmarks.

L.A.'s Broadway Street is a real lost gem. Hollywood Thoughts feels strongly that the street should be blocked from automotive traffic between the Orpheum theatre down to the Million Dollar theatre. The pedestrian-only zone would be similar to Sanata Monica's Third Street promenade-- or Old Town in Pasadena. The three movie palaces -- along with the stores lining the street -- could be rennovated with the same sensitivity as that of the El Capitan in Hollywood.

Think of it: A family could park their car somewhere along Broadway, take a safe & fast trip to the coliseum, attend a football game (or visit one of the museums), and then return to downtown to have a fun stroll and a meal along one of L.A.'s historic streets.

Football's not your game? Fine. Take-in a show at the Ahmanson, and then have dinner on Broadway.

Same goes for our out-of-town visitors. Imagine the positive word-of-mouth L.A. would get from travel agents when they tell their clients to take a monorail from the airport to catch a movie at one of the country's finest theatres-- after a long day at the convention center.

By the way, Hollywood Thoughts thinks it's important to retain the Latin flavor that Broadway has had for the last several years-- some of the mercados should remain. Spanish films should still be shown... just as the classics (how about 'Double Indemnity' at the Orpheum!), and new releases, too.

Why a monorail?

Simple. Walt Disney had it all right. Subways are buried... you never think of them (out of sight, out of mind). Disney knew back in 1959 that a monorail whizzing overhead at sixty miles an hour was a damn good moving-marquee to a guy stuck in traffic. At some point you think, "I really should give that thing a ride." A monorail sends a daily reminder to go visit the pedestrian mall on Broadway... or that going to the coliseum can be a safe and hassle-free experience.

Also, monorails go up in half the time as a subway (read: they're cheaper to build and maintain).

Each of these locations -- when tied to one another -- stand strong as a draw to consumers. Alone, they die on the vine.

With sales of expensive downtown lofts skyrocketing, the city center's new residents will be clamoring for things to do that are close to home.

AN OPEN CALL TO OUR LOCAL DEVELOPERS & BENEFACTORS:

Think about it Eli Broad: dump a little energy into this idea-- it sure would add value to your Staple Center holdings. Hey, Casey Wasserman: wouldn't your Grandfather be proud if you got involved in a project like this? Message to Ron Burkle: stop wasting time on New York's trashy Page Six... and get on the same page for furthering urban renewal in your own backyard.

Get on board... and keep our 'lost' gems sparkling.

VW Jetta Ads Are A Double Negative

Anyone seen the (fairly) new VW television ads for their Jetta? Specifically we're talking about the spots where their cars always seem to be getting T-boned and totaled.

Call us old-fashioned, but when we went to film & advertising school (Pasadena's Art Center College of Design), we recall several of our favorite teachers drumming the message, "NEVER relate your client or your product with a negative" into our heads.

Admit it: have you seen these commercials and thought, "Wow. Those Jettas sure can take a licking! I gotta get me one."

We've NEVER had those thoughts.

In the first place, we don't enjoy seeing nice folks getting the stuffing knocked out of them while we're eating dinner. Secondly, we always chuckle to ourselves and think, "Yeah, right. Like VW would have the guts to tell us what REALLY happened to that car."

Well here's where it gets downright DiVinci Code-ish:

Get out your TiVo's, gang, and take a look at the very end of those Jetta commercials. Read the fine print.

Buried in the nearly non-existent sized font you'll see that VW actually backs-down from any claims that the Jetta is more safe than anything else running on four wheels. VW also makes it pretty clear (or as clear as you can in a teensy-weensy type that's only on-screen for a couple of seconds) that their airbags are as vulnerable to failure as anyone else's airbags (and they DO fail).

Yep. Now that VW got your attention, can they keep you safe?

Seems not.

God, I Miss Vinny And Jerry

On our way home this evening, Hollywood Thoughts tuned-in the Dodger game on the car radio.

Since the Dodgers are in the midst of a five game winning streak, we won't focus our angst on their (continued) need of a big, consistent bat in the lineup... or even for a set of better arms in the bullpen. Nope. We're focusing our whining on two of the guys that sit in the Dodger radio broadcast booth.

Let's make it immediately clear that you will NEVER see a negative word directed towards Vin Scully on this site. The man has always been -- and continues to be -- a broadcasting immortal to us.

We're talking about Rick Monday and Charley Steiner.

An admission: We have not caught much of these guys this season-- so maybe what we're about to write is what scientists call a, 'sampling error.' Maybe tonight was just a bad night for the duo...

We don't think so.

Here's the rub: Steiner did most of the talking-- and most of the talking had very little to do with the Dodgers or the game that was laid-out in front of his perch.

For the last three innings of the game (about forty minutes of airtime), here's what we heard:


*Nine minutes of talk regarding the
current quality (or lack thereof) of base-
ball bats (and how they seem to break
very often these days).

*Thirty-One minutes of talk regarding Roger
Clemmons (and how he played golf yester-
day and whether he'll return to the Astros).


Yikes.

If Steiner had anything to say about the Dodgers -- or the game -- it was limited to giving us the pitch count. As for Rick Monday, his contribution to the airwaves was of the, "Mmmm-hmmm," or, "Riiiight" ilk. It seems Steiner is mostly a one-man band.

We hate saying this as the Hollywood Thoughts gang grew-up loving Monday (he of saving burning American flags in the outfield and playoff clutch hits in Montreal).

Anyway, listening to Steiner prattle on about NOTHING related to the game at-hand reminds us of commedian John Camponera's classic impersonation of Cubs'announcer, Harry Carray(the MASTER of digression):

Camponera/ Carray:
"The count is 3-0.
Hey, did I mention last night I was in
a hotel room with a naked Samoan? Fouled
away, 3-1. So anyway, he starts chasing
me around the room, long drive, foul. 3-2.
And I'm gett'in scared. One more tipped away.
Count stays, 3-2, and I'm gett'in outta
breath runn'in 'round the bed..."


Ummm... Steiner wasn't too far off from that sorta rap.

God, we miss a nine-inning game called by Vin Scully and his longtime sidekick, Jerry Doggett. Give us Ross Porter, even.

Steiner and Monday should hit the Dodgers radio archives to see how Vinny can spin a story (ABOUT ONE OF THE CHARACTERS IN THE GAME HE'S WATCHING)... or set a mood (THAT DIRECTLY RELATES TO THE GAME IN FRONT OF HIM)... or impart a fun/educational/interesting tidbit of trivia (THAT DIRECTLY RELATES TO THE GAME IN FRONT OF HIM). We guarantee if Scully had been on the air last night, we would have been given some fascinating insight about the difference between Jeff Kent and Duke Snider's bats and how they were manufactured-- down to what forest the wood came from.

What's happened to the Dodger broadcast? How has the quality of the play-by-play and color commentary fallen so quickly?

We realize that because of his age, Vinny can't call the greater chunk of a game any more, but LA fans surely deserve better.

Lie Detector Expert Labeled A Liar: A Retort

We just noticed a posting on the LA Observed website that Ed Gelb, a prominent polygraph expert, was being labeled a fraud:











"The website AntiPolygraph.org says the city
of Long Beach has hired Intercept, Inc., a
Los Angeles company "headed by celebrity
polygrapher Ed Gelb, who fraudulently passes
himself off as a Ph.D. Guests who appeared on
Gelb�s television show, 'Lie Detector,' have
reported to AntiPolygraph.org
that the 'tests' he conducted lasted about
10 minutes from hello to goodbye, which
is sub-standard even by the low standards
of the polygraph community."


Well, gang, I can tell you that as the supervising producer of "Lie Detector," the folks at antipolygraph.org have their facts, as usual, all wrong.

In addition to being a morally upstanding individual, Ed Gelb never spent less than a TWO HOUR PERIOD with any polygraph subject. There are strict rules that all polygraph administrators must follow as established by a governing board of polygraph experts. Ed Gelb never did less than follow the 'letter of the law' of what is considered the highest standards of testing.

So why would Antipolygraph make such a posting? Who would make these spurious claims?

I offer a suggestion:

People found to be lying.

Why wouldn't someone who appeared on the program -- and revealed as a liar -- want to continue the charade?

Additionally, I strongly suggest you research -- via a google search -- a brief background on the (disappointing) polygraph career of Antipolygraph's moderator.

Sour grapes.

:::

A FOLLOW-UP (5/8):

Antipolygraph.org's proprietor, George Maschke, states on his website that he has no "direct knowledge" of how my show, "Lie Detector" operated.

Wow-- a first published truth from this fellow.

In the eight months I spent as the supervising producer of "Lie Detector," I never once saw this guy on my set or in our offices.

Maschke also holds Bob Smitty up as some sort of highly-regarded source of "inside" information. Smitty appeared on our show with BOTH of his lawyers in-tow. Smitty appeared to be a nice guy. Unfortunately for him, he was shown to be 'highly deceptive' during a intensive (and extensive) TWO HOUR-long polygraph exam.

Smitty's lawyers, it should be noted, dropped him as a client almost as soon as their client was proven to be lying on national television. I wonder if Maschke questioned Smitty's lawyers regarding "Lie Detectors" policies? I'm guessing the answer is 'no.' Probably Maschke thinks all lawyers are liars, too.

It's the whole world that's lying, right, George? You're OK... it's the rest of us that have it all wrong...

Sunset-Gower Studio's Multi Million Dollar Expansion

Here's a Hollywood Thoughts exclusive:

Management at the Sunset-Gower studios (former home to Columbia Pictures) has just announced a multi-million dollar expansion of its historic property.

Beginning Monday, groundbreaking will commence on a new six-story office structure that will house Technicolor (the longtime film processor currently occupies space in an older and smaller building on the lot). The new Technicolor facility will be built on what is currently an uncovered parking lot that lines Sunset Boulevard (near the studio's main gate).

Construction will also begin on a new four-story parking garage to be built between the studio's main "A" and "B" employee parking structures. Currently this space is an empty lot on Gordon Avenue, and the new parking garage will connect the two existing parking structures.



Ownership of the historic studio has been spending significant dollars on improving and updating the landmark site in recent months. Many see these ammenities as an important step in keeping film and television production in Hollywood (KABC-TV is now located in Glendale, and KCBS/KCAL management have made it known they plan on leaving their Sunset & Gower property for the CBS-Radford lot in Studio City).

Pierre Salinger's Eyebrows

Now that we've written about Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan and Washington-based journalist, Grant Rampy, how about another fun installment involving a capitol city heavyweight?

We interviewed former JFK press secretary, Pierre Salinger, back in 1995 and had a great couple of hours with him. He was a superb storyteller and a very cordial host.

One funny thing that sticks-out as I recall that day, occured just as we were about to roll tape on the interview.

Salinger had incredibly bushy eyebrows. They looked like a pair of the fattest, furriest, caterpillars that decided to nap on the man's browline-- and never move.

At times, 'the eyebrows' (I've placed them in their own special set of quote marks as they seem, to me, to be their very own living entity) would get a bit... um... disheveled.

As I looked at Salinger's face, I noticed that I could no longer see his eyeballs. 'The eyebows' had come unhinged, and flopped over to obscure the man's eyes behind a dense curtain of... ah, eyebrow hair. Ack!

Again, I emphasize: these were no ordinary eyebrows. The hair seemed thick-- like the sorta stuff that grows atop your head.

I momentarily panicked. How the hell do you tell a notable guy that you can't see his eyes because of HIS EYEBROWS?!?

With the fear of offending the man (and suddenly losing the interview), I decided to simply be honest.

"Uh, Mr. Salinger? One quick thing before we roll..."

"Yes?"

I leaned in, and whispered, "Uh... your... uh..."

With that, I made a mussy gesture with my hands that blurred and blended the normally separate and distinct space between eyebrow and eye.

To my everlasting relief, I needn't say more. The man 'got' it.

With that, he pulled from his jacket's front pocket the tiniest comb I have ever seen.

He then gave his brows -- and I'm not making this up, folks -- a quick makeover. Instead of brows with a heavy droop, they suddenly had a spunky, uplifting quality. The eyebrows were now lifted and spike-y. Salinger always seemed to have a certain Santa-like-gleam in his eyes, and now 'the 'brows' seemed to add to the mischevious look.

When he finished, he slid the specialized comb back into his pocket, gave me a wink, and said, "Happens all the time."

Harry Cohn: Get To Work!

This shot was taken not very far from where Hollywood Thoughts maintains its offices.

It's probably the nicest spot on the Sunset-Gower lot-- originally the home to Columbia Studios. Located in the oldest section of the studio (probably built in 1921) near the main administration building, it's a lush and quiet hideaway from all the lot's hustle and bustle.













Columbia Pictures was founded in 1920 by Harry & Jack Cohn, and during their 50-year reign, the brothers produced a mixture of B-movies (the Three Stooges) as well as classic features (such as Frank Capra's "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" and "It Happened One Night").

This intimate courtyard is ringed by spaces that used to house the studio's writers.

Harry Cohn -- from the rude, crude and loud school of moguls -- had a suite of offices that overlooked the patio.

As legend has it, Cohn would often throw open his window when he didn't hear his wordsmiths generating enough clacking on the typewriter keys and bellow, "I don't hear you bastards typing! Get to work you mothers, or I'll fire all of ya!"

Needless to say, the instantaneous clatter of typing was thunderous.

Current management has been spending bundles on upgrading and maintaining this historic site. Virtually the entire lot has been given a makeover with new paint and landscaping. Special bronze plaques have also been mounted to each soundstage honoring the cast, crew and pictures that were filmed in each.








Harry's window.




:::

Other Columbia classics include: "From Here to Eternity" (1953), "On The Waterfront" (1954), "The Caine Mutiny" (1954), "Picnic" (1955), "Lawrence of Arabia" (1962), "Dr. Strangelove" (1964), "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" (1967), "Oliver! " (1968), and "Funny Girl" (1968).

A Day Without An Immigrant

The day's first report:

Our normal thirty-five minute commute was reduced to twelve. Hmmm... can this become a regular event???

The Hollywood Thoughts staff is feeling a bit unappreciated these days, so we're spearheading a few other 'special days' (some may find them a bit self-serving):

*A Day Without A White Guy From The Valley

*A Monday Or A Friday Without Work If I Don't Feel Like It

*A Day Where I Still Get Paid When I March At The 'Day Without A White Guy From The Valley' Demonstration


Here's one for parents that feel under-valued:

*A Day Without Your Mom (or Dad) Whose Tired Of Picking-Up Your Crap

Come to think of it, I bet there's plenty of women out there that would appreciate their own 'Day Without Your Wife/Girlfriend 'Cause Then You'll Know How Much I Do For You, You Ungrateful Bastard'.


Some other nominees:


*A Day Without Paris Hilton

*A Day Where I Don't Have To Pay Sprint Because They Drop All My Calls

*A Day Without Some-Guy-Alone-In-His-Prius-In-The-Carpool-Lane

*A Day Where My Drive-Thru Jumbo Jack With Cheese Doesn't Get Read Back As A "Yumbo Yack With Jizz"




*A Day Without Parking Meter Maids

*A Day Without Traffic Control Cops In The Intersections Slowing Everything Down (see: Laurel Cyn & Ventura)

*A Day Without Mayor Villaraigosa At Some Photo-OP


Send YOUR nominations...

So Long, Steve Howe.

We couldn't let the weekend pass without saying 'goodbye' to former Dodger pitcher, Steve Howe.

So many chances, such great promise. We hope your greatest reward was with your kids (one of whom we hear is an excellent pitcher-in-the-making).

We remember the pain we felt (as fans) each time you relapsed-- but we prefer to always remember you with your arm upraised. Triumphant. A world champion. Your smile, full of joy.

We hope you're in a place where the demons you battled for so long can't reach you... and that you may, finally, rest in peace.

Grant Rampy, KTLA News

I have a favor to ask if you live in the L.A. area...

Watch the KTLA 10pm news broadcast. Somewhere between 10:05 and 10:15, Hal Fishman will go to their Washington correspondent, Grant Rampy.

This isn't a commentary on Rampy's broadcasting skills; he's fine.

It's a comment on the way the guy says his name when he signs off.

Take a listen. It's bizzare.

He'll do an entire story without the slightest trace of an accent... and then he says his own name. It's tweaked. And has some un-placeable drawl.

"In Washington, Graaaaaaaaaannnnnt Raaaaaaaahmmmmpeeeeey, KTLA News."

Listen-- you'll see. I'm not crazy.

Do it again the next night, and THIS TIME, do me another favor: say, "Graaaaant Raaaampeeeey, KTLA News" along with the guy.

Hey, it always gives ME a giggle. It's a nightly ritual now. Even the wife gets in on the reindeer games.

Join in... it'll be our secret, "I'm as mad as hell..." club chant (except in a dorkier sort of way).

Pentecostals: Say What?!?

Here's a thought:

There's a huge convention of Pentecostal Christians descending upon Los Angeles this week.

As the LA Times put it, Pentecostals are, "...known for their spontaneous, fervent, style of worship and praying aloud."

Some like to incorporate live snakes into their praying.

They also speak in tongues.

Whatever works, right?

But why L.A.?

Los Angeles, it seems, is considered the cradle of the worldwide Pentecostal movement (why do I get the feeling that the folks in the red states wouldn't be surprised to learn that fact?).

Here's my question: Why a convention? Whose idea was this?!?


As I understand it, there's no codified 'Language of Pentecostals.' Everyone has their own way of communicating with The Big Guy (or, for you DaVinci-Code-Sacred-Feminine-loving folks, 'The Big Gal').

If that's the case, how does any work get done at this conference? How do you network? Swap revelations?

I can only imagine what a typical conversation would sound like out on the convention floor...

Believer #1: 'Hello!'

Believer #2: 'Howdy... uh... Yeeeurrrp! Jesus leather nostril!'

Believer #1: 'Cha-cha-cha... damnation in the tulip patch. Bleeeeooop! Evil the dog's eyes are!'

And then they're off to the 10am snake handling panel.

Please, God, tell me Jodie Foster's "chickie-chaw-chaw" character from 'Nell' was this year's keynote speaker...

:::

More info at: www.azusastreet.com

Reggie Bush: Flag On The Playola

We're not feeling smug today. It's more like disappointment...

Take a look at our second posting on the site from January 11th-- it deals with what we suspected to be a little play-for-pay action on Exposition Boulevard.

Turns out Hollywood Thoughts might have been right.

For followers of the LA sports scene, it looks like Reggie Bush isn't simply headed to Saturday's NFL draft, but also some time behind closed doors with NCAA investigators.

You can go to USA Today, for the full story... but, in short, things could quickly get nasty for the Men of Troy.

NCAA rules prohibit student-athletes and their families from receiving extra benefits from agents or their representatives. Suddenly the spotlight turns from guessing when Reggie will go in the draft, to his family and their suddenly envious lifestyle. Specifically, attention is now drawn to the 3,000 square foot Spring Valley home that Reggie's parents have been living in since March, 2005.

If Bush and his family are found guilty of violating NCAA regulations, Bush could be ruled ineligible.

If he's headed for the NFL, who cares? Right?

Here's the twist:

Every game that Bush played for USC could also be forfeited.

There must be many smiles in Westwood today.

One more thought: if USC is eliminated post-facto from post season play, does this mean an added round of Bowl games?


Nice watch. It's hard out here for a used Trojan.

Hollywood Thoughts Goes Dot Com

In our never-ending search for ways to improve, simplify and lessen the everyday tensions of life, Hollywood Thoughts offers you, gentle reader, the following gift:

You no longer need to type the word 'blogspot' when entering our URL into your browser.

That's right, kids, we're now: www.hollywoodthoughts.com

Oh, sure, you can still read us at www.hollywoodthoughts.blogspot.com... but why bother when we can eliminate eight keystrokes from your carpel-tunneled fingertips (nine, if you count the dot)?

Don't say we've never done anything for you.

OK, the truth is that I was getting tired of saying, "www... hollywood thoughts... dot... blogspot... dot... com." Too many dots to remember, and the word 'blogspot' sounded sorta cheesy.

Aah, choice is good.



(PS: Since everyone keeps asking, the woman in the skirt is named "Dot," our new Hollywood Thoughts cyber-babe mascot).

Laurel Canyon: There Goes The Neighborhood

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that Laurel Canyon Boulevard -- just south of Mulholland Drive -- always seems to be covered by a miniature river of water?

What gives?

Are there enough pool owners in the neighborhood to keep the street submerged when they take turns draining their backyard swimming holes?

It can't be blamed on the recent rains-- the water flows even on the hottest days of summer.

Is there some sort of hidden Artesian well? If so, why isn't someone selling the stuff at the Canyon Store**?!?

An admission: I dread driving through the pass because my (black) car is always getting splattered from the oversized, street-water spewing wheels of the Escalades in front of me (and, yes, I now avoid Laurel Canyon for a few days after I get the car washed).

But here's my real concern: what sort of damage is being wreaked by this daily dribble? Is the soft soil beneath the two-lane road slowly crumbling away?


I'm beginning to get the feeling that the top of Laurel Canyon might be headed downslope (and into oblivion)-- just like those Bluebird Canyon hillside estates in Laguna.

Or, hey... like some homes in Laurel Canyon.

Do I suffer from some weird case of hypochondria for highways?

Maybe. But with good (decent) reason.

:::



**Take a listen to The Doors song, "Love Street" to hear a reference to Laurel Canyon and the, "...place where all the creatures meet."

Good Times With Bill Clinton

Equal time. Even for a blog.

In light of last week's post about Ronald Reagan, we thought it only fair to give a blue state representative some shared time in the spotlight...

Seeing Bill Clinton in the news a lot this past week (either campaigning for the Nobel -- or his wife -- I'm not sure which), reminds me of a good story:

Over six years ago, yours truly was invited to the White House to help produce a documentary that would some day be played at the Bill Clinton Presidential library. We had a couple of days of nearly unlimited access to the famous residence and its main occupants. It was the final two weeks of his presidency (who would have guessed that while we were toiling on the the next lighting set-up, the big guy from Arkansas was busy signing a stack of Presidential pardons?!?). It was an incredible two days for an admitted history buff.

I digress.

At the end of our shoot, the President posed for a big group shot in front of the famous JFK - HMS Resolute desk, and then turned to leave the Oval Office. As he was saying the last of his "thank-you's" to the assembled crew, he turned and bumped straight into my chest. The White House photographer caught the moment, and snapped a shot of us both sharing a laugh.

Great for me (I've got one hell of a souvenir), not so good for Bill...

It was pretty clear that the group shot was a substitute for one-on-ones (hey, he had a lot on his plate in those days). Now that I had my own solo grip-n-grin, everyone wanted the same. A small line formed, and the busy President took the time to take a shot with everyone in attendance.

Including a VERY attractive female producer.

As she sidled-up next to the Prez, she shook-out her long locks, and turned her 'best side' to the camera's lens.

Clinton looked down at the hottie, and said in his charming southern drawl, "Yeahhh... you gotta get that good side out, darl'in, but from what I can tell, there's no such thing as a bad one on youuuuu!"

Wow. It NEVER stops.

There was a sudden, shared, electrical surge in the room. Sly looks flew between the crew. We all seemed to have the same thought: despite all he had gone through, Big Bill couldn't ever turn the flirt knob down to 1 or 2. It was always up to 11.

Someone, please, hide the cigars.

An innocent joke, magnified (distorted?) because of the locale. I can safely say that the lovely producer was in no way offended. Just the opposite.

And, yes. Bill was right: she has no 'bad side.'

:::

MORE: Clinton strengthens his Hollywood ties this Friday (4/21) with a $1,000 a plate fundraiser dinner (for Hillary's re-election campaign) at Ron Burkle's Green Acre's estate.

Memorial Set For Greg the Newsstand Guy

The family of Greg Burgess has made arrangements to hold a memorial on his behalf.

The invitations read:

"A Gathering To Celebrate The Life Of 'Crazy Greg' Burgess"
Sunday, April 23rd, 2006.
11:00am - 3:00PM
Food, beverages and his Friends & Family"


Van Nuys - Sherman Oaks Recreation Center
14201 Huston Street, Sherman Oaks 91423
818-783-5121

French Cuffs

I'm wearing one of my favorite shirts today. It's one of those Egyptian cotton get-ups (high thread count, and feels like you're wearing the softest set of bed sheets ever made). It has french cuffs.

Not much need for a shirt with french cuffs these days, but it reminds me of a good Ronald Reagan story...

Reagan was a longtime member of the Bel-Air Presbyterian church, and during his retirement years, was a frequent sight at Sunday services.



At some point in his declining years, the Reagan limo appeared at the front doors of the church. Out popped a driver carrying several packages. As the story goes, the driver presented the packages to a church employee. He parted by saying that the former President wanted to make a donation to the churches homeless program.

Inside the packages were dozens of men's dress shirts. Expensive shirts.

All had a monogrammed "R R" on the cuff.

French cuffs.

The grateful church worker thanked the driver as he turned to leave, but added, "Please thank the President for his thoughtful gift... but please tell him that not many homeless men have cufflinks."

The story continues...

The next day, at the same time, the same limo pulls-up to the church.
The same driver approaches the same church employee with another package.

Inside THIS package were dozens of -- you got it -- cufflinks.

Hail the chief.

The Garv

Anyone see the Sunday LA Times article on former Dodger star, Steve Garvey?

How sad.

We've known for quite awhile that he was philandering philanthropist. He's got enough kids out of wedlock to stock an infield... but now we discover that he's pretty good at not paying his bills.

Seems that drama has followed Garvey ever since he retired from the game.

It's not hard, however, to close your eyes and remember 'The Garv' at the height of his popularity here in LA when his reputation as a clean-living guy was sterling.

Garvey was THE ONE GUY that seemed to remain above-the-fray just as illegal drug use -- and off-the-field impropriety -- among pro players was hitting the headlines. Garvey was the definition of an Eagle Scout lifestyle. Remember Steve Howe? Darryl Strawberry? Even beloved Dodger outfielder Dusty Baker (the current Cubs manager) made a secretive -- and extra quick -- exit from Chavez Ravine when whispers hit the streets that he was dealing in the Dodger's clubhouse. Not 'The Garv'-- he was 'Mr. Clean.'

Hey, I remember my Mom telling me, "It's OK to be like Steve Garvey when you grow-up. Ignore those guys that are doing drugs. Steve's doesn't do that sort of stuff-- and look how good he is." I don't think she was alone. A lot of Moms felt the same way about Mr. Clean.

Garvey was so principled that he even refused to re-negotiate his contract when it was apparent to EVERYONE that the gold glove All-Star was woefully undercompensated. "I made a deal, and I'll stick by it," he said. Can you imagine that happening today?

Where did he go so far afield?

I remember my godfather telling me that I shouldn't idolize pro athletes. He had business dealings with some of them, and as he used to say, "Just because they're good at handling a ball doesn't mean they are any good at handling their personal lives."

I thought he was just being a hardass. I ignored him, and continued wearing Baker's #12 on all of my jerseys.

To prove his point, he took me to a Dodger game, and handed me his binoculars. He pointed me in the direction of the dugout and told me to find (second baseman) Davey Lopes.

I spotted him right away. He was standing with the catcher Steve Yeager.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

There they were-- in the shadows of the underground tunnel.

Middle of the third, and these two jokers were puffing away at cigarettes.

Big deal? In light of BALCO? Nah. But to an eleven year-old who thought it impossible that a highly paid pro athlete would subject his body to cigarettes? Yes (at that age it was impossible to fathom anything worse than tobacco). How could they be so cavalier with their god-given gifts?!?

I was crushed-- but my godfather sent a powerful message. It's one I'll probably deliver to my kid pretty early-on: Don't worship someone whose greatest acomplishment in life is how they throw a ball. There's a line between admiration and blind hero worship.

Some wonder if Garvey's off-the-field antics have cost him what once appeared to be a certain spot in Cooperstown.

Am I surprised by the latest in the saga that is Steve Garvey? Nope. But part of me wants to go back to feeling like that eleven year-old: that the guy swinging for the fences could slay dragons. That, together, the nine guys on that green, green field could conquer the world. They were invincible... and perfect.

Dreams die hard.

Shades of Gray

An interesting article appeared in the terrific blog, Tabloid Baby...

The story revolves around a line from a New York Times article about columnist Cindy Adams. It describes the scene from the Manhattan premiere of a Spike Lee movie :

“Reporters from Variety, 'Entertainment Tonight' and 'A Current Affair' might be expected to remain corralled behind a length of velvet rope, but at a recent premiere for 'Inside Man' at the Ziegfeld Theater in Midtown, Mrs. Adams curtly rebuffed a perky film publicist who had asked her to join the salivating pack...”

As Tabloid Baby points-out, A Current Affair was canceled in October, 2005. No representative from that show could have attended last week's premiere. When Tabloid Baby pointed-out the mistake to the Times, here was the paper's response:


"Dear Reader:

I am the corrections editor for the Metro
department of The Times. Your e-mail
was forwarded to me for review. You are
correct in noting that "A Current Affair"
has been canceled. However, the article
does not say that a reporter for "A Current
Affair" was at the premiere
of "Inside Man."

The paragraph in question reads:

"Reporters from Variety, 'Entertainment
Tonight' and 'A Current Affair' might be
expected to remain corralled
behind a length of velvet rope, but at a
recent premiere for "Inside Man" at the
Ziegfeld Theater in Midtown,
Mrs. Adams curtly rebuffed a perky
film publicist who had asked her to join
the salivating pack."

The first part of this sentence is written
in the conditional tense; it means that at
red-carpet events like
the premiere, those reporters would
probably stay behind the velvet rope.
The second part goes on to describe what
happened at this particular premiere.

Thank you for writing.

Karin Roberts
Assistant to the Metropolitan Editor
The New York Times"



Sooo good to know that the Times are up to the challenge of re-writing the rules of grammar.

What a message we're sending to schools: Why worry about mixing tenses, kids? Why waste precious time on proofreading, or making sure your writing is readable?

More importantly, it's interesting to see how James Frey has now extended his reach of influence into the world of journalism: If I interpret Karin Roberts correctly, it's perfectly acceptable to mix fact & fiction -- without clarification between the two -- in the SAME LINE of a newspaper report.

Wait. What are we saying?

JAMES FREY'S influence? Doesn't the Times have a history with putting a soft-focus on the truth? Aren't they the home to the notorious Jayson Blair?


The Times used to be a great paper. Maybe they still are... but to borrow from their own nickname, the lady 'aint the only thing gray; so is the way they report the truth...

Beginning Of The End For The Buffalo Club?

Driving down Olympic Boulevard the other day, we noticed that the Buffalo Club was now prominently displaying its name in TWO windows facing the busy street.

I realize that for most normal operations, sporting signage is a necessary part of doing business... but the Buffalo club isn't normal. Part of the charm for the darkly-lit Santa Monica speakeasy was the way they flew way-way-way under the radar. In the Mid nineties, the buffalo club was a trendy hang-out for celebs, studio execs, and east coast transplants. In a way, if you knew about the so-nondescript-you'll-drive-right-by-it bar and restaurant, you were a part of the... um, 'club.'

A favorite hang-out of Don Simpson, his pals threw a memorial-party here when the uber-producer passed-away in 1996 of a drug overdose.

So why the 'very normal' signage for the normally secretive restaurant?

Hollywood Thoughts knows that trendy always passes into yesterday. The hipsters have moved-on, and maybe the locals don't feel like paying studio suit prices (the club has a wonderful bar and patio-- but the menu has always been overpriced. Don't take our word for it... visit Worlds Best Bars for several first-hand reviews).

A friend of HT mentioned that when they visited the club last week, the joint was virtually vacant. Roll a grenade through the place, and you wouldn't have hit a soul.

Perhaps too many prospective restaurant-goers aren't in the mood for a scavenger hunt search for a place to have dinner...

In any event, the change means that time marches on... the bloom eventually goes off the rose... and (ask Madonna about this point) change is inevitable if you want to remain relevant. Or simply in business...

Katie Couric Is The New Kathie Lee

So it seems Katie Couric will be departing 'The Today Show' and heading into primetime via the CBS Evening News anchor chair.

Circle April Fourth on your calendar as the beginning-of-the-end of Katie's broadcast career.

Hollywood Thoughts has been waiting for this moment since the world was rid of Kathie Lee Gifford.

Hey, we like The Today Show-- it's just that we prefer our NBC morning shows without Katie.

HT finds her over-rated, over-compensated and off-putting with her self-important attitude.

We also think she's outgrown the whole network force-fed 'Katie' schtick-- it's time to start using her given name (Katherine) and behave like a grown-up journalist. We don't mean to imply ageism, it's just that the 'corporate perk' marketing scheme is cheesy. And embarassing. And fake. She's nearly fifty...

Here's the schedule for Katie's road trip to obscurity:

After weeks of syrupy, overwrought montage moments set to the theme of "Brokeback Mountain," Katie will leave Rockefeller Center, and head for Black Rock.

Katie will last for roughly a year (maybe two) before steadily declining ratings will force Moonves & Company to protect their investment, and pull her from the nightly schedule. Primetime viewers simply won't want to get their news from the 'serious Katie,' and perky don't play in the anchor chair. A conundrum for anyone on the top floors at Television City. Katie will say that she needs more time with her kids-- and that today's anchors need to get out of the studio to remain relevant (a'la Bob Woodruff)... and that's not something she can do as a Mother to two kids.

Enter Bob Schieffer as the interim CBS Evening News anchor where he will slowly raise ratings (just like he did in '05 & '06).

Keep with me...

CBS will next announce that Katie will appear in a self-titled afternoon talk show (perhaps, "Kidd'in Around With Katie!").

It'll last a year.

At this point, Katie will be nearing the end of her (projected) three year deal with CBS-- just in time for her to announce a semi-retirement (at least from day-and-date programming). CBS will offer to extend her deal with a contract to do specials on their cable outlet, VH-1.







Just in time for a 2009 holiday sing-along with Kathie Lee...




:::
ADDED THOUGHTS:

Our friend, Ray Richmond at Past Deadline has intiated a contest. The rules are simple: create a new word to describe Katie's new form of CBS 'spunk.'

I vote for "Spunkerly"-- a combo of 'spunky' and 'elderly.' A spunky elder.

"Spunkorate" also comes to mind-- a sort of corporate sponsored/manufactured 'spunkiness' (it also reminds me of the word, 'expectorate' which is something you do when you don't like the taste of something... and I have the feeling that once 'Katherine' hits the anchor chair, Americans will rise-up with a giant, "Pahtoowie!").

Our Buddy Greg

I intentionally didn’t label this as “MY Buddy Greg” because that would be selfish.

Greg had many, many friends. He was a fixture in the neighborhood, and he “belonged,” if you will, to all of us.

I never knew Greg’s last name, but I considered him a friend. He passed-away very unexpectedly last Monday morning after working his shift at the Sherman Oaks Newsstand (at the corner of Van Nuys and Ventura boulevards). You’ve probably seen him a million times as you passed the intersection: he was in his late fifties… always wore a ballcap… and, of course, sported his trademark ZZ Top beard.

I first met Greg about five years ago when I moved into the area. Looks can be deceiving; I took him to be a tough guy (probably because of his beard). I shoulda remembered what my Mom taught me as a kid about people: Don’t judge a book by its cover. That was Greg. From the start, I discovered he was a softy. He always had a joke to share, or an interesting observation. To be certain, he always had a smile or a 'hello' for you. Greg was the same with others; his modest up-bringing in Riverside didn't allow him to pass judgment on the people he met. It didn't matter if you were a panhandler or a producer... in Greg's eyes, we were all equals.

Did I mention that Greg always had a small crowd gathered around him— no matter the time or the condition of the weather (we used to joke about the temperature on the big electronic sign across the street that was always off by about 10 degrees)? Getting a magazine was secondary to the laugh you could share with the guy. He worked 3 to 11... and was a great way to wind-down your day. You could always count on him being there, Sunday thru Thursday.

Until this past Monday.

My wife and I have a toddler-aged son; in his two years on this planet, he’s already considered Greg to be one of his best buddies. Taking a walk to visit his ‘Uncle Greg’ every afternoon was the high-point of each day.

On my way home at night -- and on days I couldn't stop at the stand -- I used to give Greg a beep on the car horn. It was our daily ritual. I never got a wave-- but I always DID get a super-cool finger point back in return.

Still another thing to miss.

Did I mention that Greg was a hot rod enthusiast? He used to get our little guy miniature models of souped-up jalopies... and don’t think we didn’t appreciate his generous gestures to our son (especially knowing what Greg probably took home each week working at the stand).

What’s it all mean?

Well, damnit, it means that whoever said, ‘cherish each moment’ got it right. You never know when it'll all end. It also goes to show that extending a simple gesture – such as a smile or a kind word -- can have a huge, positive, impact on the lives of those you touch.

Our son is going to miss his daily afternoon walks to go see ‘Uncle Greg.’

I think we all will.



:::

UPDATE:

THIS POSTING WAS PICKED-UP BY THE LA OBSERVED BLOG, AND THEN NOTICED BY THE EDITORS AT THE LA DAILY NEWS. AS A RESULT, GREG'S PASSING WAS NOTED IN A WONDERFUL FEATURE OBIT THAT APPEARED IN SATURDAY'S (4/1) EDITION. HOLLYWOOD THOUGHTS IS GRATEFUL TO KEVIN RODERICK, DANA BARTHOLOMEW AND THE DAILY NEWS FOR GIVING GREG A PROPER SEND-OFF...

Jewel of the Neighborhood'
Burgess, newsstand clerk, dies
By Dana Bartholomew, Staff Writer

SHERMAN OAKS - He brought smiles to the faces of passing motorists. Heard the cares of customers. Handed out toys to children. And for decades was a fixture at the landmark Sherman Oaks Newsstand. Gregory Mark Burgess, the artist clerk whose smile had cheered passers-by at Van Nuys and Ventura boulevards since the early 1980s, died Monday of a heart attack. He was 59.

News of his death raced this week across the blogosphere... drew calls of condolences from Jay Leno's office... and shocked a Sherman Oaks community longing for the ZZ Top-like hot-rodder perched each evening with a copy of your favorite news mag or paper.

"He was the jewel of the neighborhood," said Jon Crowley, a TV producer, writer and director who lives near the 57-year-old stand. "He knew everybody. He cared for everybody. He belonged to everybody. "He was the outdoor bartender... but instead of pouring a drink, he'd pour out words of wisdom."

Burgess, a native of Columbus, Ohio, was raised in Covina and the inland town of Perris, where he developed a life-long love of hot rods, Harleys and high-heeled curves.

A hell-raiser, he raced drag bikes, wrenched on top-fuel dragsters-- and spent at least one night in jail for joy-riding the fire chief's car.

In the early 1980s, Burgess got his curbside job at the Sherman Oaks Newsstand. For awhile he sold magazines on Melrose Avenue and became a distributor. Then he returned to become the sage of Sherman Oaks.

And if he didn't know your name, he would always greet you as simply as "Bud," or "Pardner." Sunday through Thursday, rain or shine-- Burgess always had a joke. A smile. Some advice. Or a copy of your favorite "Forbes" or "Easy Rider" tucked beneath the register. Leno of "Tonight Show" and Max Baer of "The Beverly Hillbillies" were regulars.

Toddlers walking by with moms got hot-rod toys that Burgess made at home. Teens who spilled their troubles referred to him as "Dad." And the crush of motorists, if they weren't pulling over for the latest edition, saw Burgess twinkle and point in their direction.

When he wasn't peddling news, the man whose favorite artists are Jackson Pollack and Von Dutch loved to tour art galleries, cars shows or create "rockabilly" art with homemade frames. His company, Scavenger Enterprises, fashioned model cars.

On Sunday, Burgess complained of being tired. Early Monday, he complained of chest pains to his longtime girlfriend, Adriana Guidi, then collapsed in their apartment a mile from the stand. He died soon afterward at Sherman Oaks Hospital.

Burgess is survived by a son, Timothy Burgess, 24, of Upland; a daughter, Kimberly Burgess, 33, of Covina; and a granddaughter. No service is planned. Guidi said she hopes to arrange a hot-rod show in his honor.

Once, when eyeballing art in Orange County, Guidi said Burgess noticed a statue of a famous Laguna Beach greeter.
"He said, 'When I take the dirt nap, they'll put a statue like that for me at the newsstand."'

World's Oldest Celeb Passes

Hollywood Thoughts marks the sad passing of one of the world’s most interesting celebrities…

While known internationally, he obtained rock-star status in India where he was considered a national icon.

His celebrity derived mainly from his slow and easy-going personality… but was also due to his incredible longevity.

His name was Addwaita— which means “the one and only” in the Bengali language. When Addwaita passed last Wednesday, he was reported to have been 250 years old. He was the world’s oldest living inhabitant.

A bit of background…

According to Indian official Subir Chowdhury, documents exist to prove that Addwaita was brought to India as a youngster by English sailors from his native Seychelle Islands in the 1700’s. For a time, he lived with Lord Robert Clive (pictured above) of the East India Company—where it was whispered in private circles that he was a sort of “play thing for the Lord’s personal enjoyment.” Clive, of course, was instrumental in establishing British colonial rule in India before he finally returned to England in 1767.

Over time, the pair had grown distant, so it came as no surprise when Addwaita chose to not follow Clive to Britain. Instead, Addwaita preferred to stay in India where he continued to reside at Clive’s former garden estate. Addwaita remained there until moving into his current -– and only -- home in 1875.

Addwaita was a confirmed vegetarian, and most consider that to be his secret to longevity— even though he was, for most of his life, a ‘big guy’ who weighed nearly 260 pounds. Ultimately, liver failure was the cause of Addwaita’s passing.

Caretakers had noticed that he hadn’t been feeling well, and had been keeping an eye on him. They discovered his lifeless body early Wednesday…

…in his enclosure at the Calcutta Zoo.

Addwaita was an Aldabra tortoise. And that, as they say, is the rest of the story.



(Last known photo of Addwaita)

:::

FUN FACT:

Addwaita was significantly older than Harriet, a 176-year-old Galapagos tortoise who lives at the Australia Zoo. According to the zoo's Web site, Harriet was taken from the island of Isla Santa Cruz by Charles Darwin in the 19th century.

Aldabra tortoises come from the Aldabra atoll in the Seychelle islands in the Indian Ocean, and often live to more than 100 years of age. Males can weigh up to 550 pounds.

HR4437: Sunset-Gower Studios Overrun By Protestors

The lead line might be a bit of an overstatement, but from approximately 9:00am until twelve noon today, the Sunset-Gower Studio gates were blocked at times by thousands of passing high school-aged protestors. By our informal count, over 3,000 students proceeded eastbound along Sunset boulevard; it was a snaking line of marchers that stretched as far as the eye could see (or at least as far as Vine). The teenagers -- escorted by dozens of LAPD officers on the ground and in the air -- were marching in protest of the federal government's pending immigration legislation, HR4437.

Of the several students we spoke with, most seemed to be from nearby L.A. High-- home of the Mighty Romans. Nary a Roman (or even a caucasian) was spotted in the sea of faces; the crowd was almost exclusively comprised of Hispanic and Latino students. The group was vocal, but well-behaved (being eyed by cops dressed in riot gear -- billy clubs drawn -- could be considered an inducement, we suppose, for being on one's best 'protestor-like-behavior'). A report on a local news channel suggests that the walkout was organized, in part, by postings on several myspace.com sites.

When Hollywood Thoughts contacted the Dean's office at LA High, a school official confirmed that student's had taken it upon themselves to organize the walk-out against the administration's wishes. Hmmm... a demonstration put together by a group of passionate teens... or a huge ditch day the likes of which haven't been seen since Ferris Buehler sang 'Twist & Shout'? The answer, we think, lies along the lines of gender...

When the coeds were questioned about their motives for marching, we were given serious and thoughtful responses. The males in the group, however, tended to reply with answers along the lines of, 'We're outta school all day, bro!'

To be honest -- and politics aside -- we're just happy that the word, 'Bro' is still in use among America's youth (regardless of their indigenous or immigrant status). Anyone got a Maui & Sons tee?

Hollywood Thoughts wonders how much of an influence the currently running HBO film "Walkout" is having on the demonstrators? Do we have Washington to blame for the mass truancy... or Edward James Olmos???

The high school walk-outs are happening all over the country today, and come on the heels of massive demonstrations throughout the nation this past Saturday.
















Here's a thought that isn't exclusive to Hollywood: Why isn't the media giving serious coverage to these demonstrations? Protests these big rival any seen at the outset of war in Iraq... yet are being pushed to the back pages of our largest newspapers. In Los Angeles alone, over 500,000 protestors descended upon the civic center. Based upon the 2000 census, that's over one-third of the city's entire population; doesn't that qualify for better, more consistent coverage of an issue that concerns such a large portion of our society?

Will The New Wonder Woman Please Get Lost!

Nobody seems to be connecting the dots on this one, so please allow us to complete the picture for you...

Seems that "Lost" star, Evangeline Lilly is mentioned in this month's Esquire Magazine (and numerous other reputable sources) as being on the 'short list' of ladies being considered for the title role in Joss Whedon's new 'Wonder Woman' flick.

Guess who else is in the running? Evangeline's 'Lost' co-star, Michelle Rodriguez. At one point this week, Rodriguez was actually listed under the WW cast list on the imdb site (since removed).



Wow... both are great choices.

Wow. That's gotta bring some tension to the Hawaii set, dontcha think?

(By the way, check-out the mysterious Lost fan, The Thumb Guy, who has been gaining prominence on the outrageous Tabloid Baby site (which stems from the controversial book) Tabloid Baby by Burt Kearns (writer-producer of the current DVD comedy, Cloud 9. The Thumb Guy has a fun, new Lost fan site); check them all out...

Second Shuttering For Schwab's

BUT WHERE WILL LANA SIT???

Looks like Schwab's has seen its second coming... and now, closing.

While the Hollywood Thoughts staff took a lunchtime stroll down Sunset boulevard last week, one of our sharp-eyed interns noticed that the windows at Schwab's were all covered with butcher paper. At the time we guessed that filming might be going-on inside, and that a crew was trying to keep lookie-loo's at bay by blocking the view from the sidewalk.

That was a week ago. The windows remain covered-- but they've taken-on a creepy, 'Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore' patina (as in: "We had a Denny's-style-menu-with-Patina-prices-and-that's-why-we-went-belly-up").

If, in fact, it's time to say, 'buh-bye' to Schwab's, it would come as no surprise: the decor was cold, and so was the demeanor of many of it's staff. If some smart lad with a deep pocket wants to buy the rights to the name, they'd be best advised to try and do a faithful knock-off of the original Schwab's decor & layout. Make the new place homey... install a fun counter... and make reasonably priced comfort food (Gimme a chocolate shake!). Think: Johnny Rocket's but with an honest-to-god pedigree.

Speaking of the original Schwab's, it's original location was at Crescent Heights & Sunset boulevard-- roughly where the Virgin Megastore is located today (BTW: The famous 'Garden of Allah' hotel was located across the street where the McDonalds now sits. Like the old Joni Mitchell song says, 'They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.'). And, no, Lana Turner was NOT discovered at the Schwab's soda counter... she was spotted by a talent scout at a soda counter near her Hollywood High School campus.

We've tried calling Schwab's everyday this week, with no avail. A property management spokesperson told HT that they thought Schwab's ownership was considering a "re-think" on its concept.

I think, kiddies, it's time to look around for a new lunch spot.

Ode To Maverick, Ice Man & The Tomcat

The U.S. Department of the Navy announced last week that the venerable F-14 Tomcat fighter is to be completely retired by this coming September. You remember the Tomcat, don't you? It's the featured "player" in the 1986 Tom Cruise movie, "Top Gun."

Over 600 of the twin-engined, swing-winged fighters (maximum speed of 1,544mph) were produced between 1970 and the early 1990's. Most F-14 squadrons will take delivery of its replacement, the F-18 "Super" Hornet in the coming months. The VF-31 "Tomcatters" squadron will retain their F-14's until August, making them the last to fly the famous fighter.

Of historical note, the last Tomcat to be catapulted from an aircraft carrier probably happened last Saturday (March 11th) aboard the USS Theodore Roosevelt with the VF-213 Black Lion squadron.

For all of you military-aviation buffs, the Tomcat started life as a JOINT venture between the Navy and the Air Force. The two branches of the military were in need of a fighter, and decided to share their R&D dollars to contain the high costs associated with creating a high-tech aircraft from scratch.

It wasn't much of a surprise when politics entered the picture and the two forces couldn't agree on anything. The whole project went millions of dollars over-budget... and up in flames. From the ashes of engineer's blueprints, both the Navy and the Air Force developed their own dual-engined, swing-winged fighters (the Navy's F-14, and the Air Force F-111 Aardvark, retired in 1996).

There will be a major reunion of pilots, mechanics and supporters of the Tomcat September 20-23, 2006.

Most of the remaining F-14's will be destroyed, while a few will be shipped to museums.

As a parting shot, we re-print part of an interview with Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary about their feeling that "Top Gun" is one of Hollywood's least-known -- and best -- gay-themed movies:

"You've got Iceman, and all his crew.
They're gay, they represent the gay community...
and they're saying, "Go the gay way."
"Then you've got Maverick, right? He's on the edge, man.
He could go either way.
"Kelly McGillis--
she represents heterosexuality.
She's saying, "No, no, no!
Go the normal way;
play by the rules."
That's what's going on
throughout that whole movie.
"Mav goes to her house, all right?
It looks like they're going to have sex.
They're just kind of sitting back,
he's takin' a shower and everything. But they
don't have sex! He gets on the motorcycle,
drives away. She's like, "What the
hell, what's going on here?!?" Next scene
you see her, she's in the elevator,
she's dressed like a guy. She's got the cap on,
she's got the aviator glasses,
she's wearing the same jacket
that the Iceman wears. She's like,
"Okay, this is how I gotta get this guy...
this guy's going towards the gay way, I gotta bring
him back through a little subterfuge.
I'm gonna dress like a man."
That's how she approaches it-- she makes herself
more appealing by dressing like the Iceman.


"The movie's ending REALLY gets the point
across when they fight the MIGs at the end.
Mav's passed over into the gay way and
they are now this gay fighting force.
And they're beating the Russians--
the gays are beating the Russians.
And it's over, and they land, and Iceman's
been trying to get Maverick the
entire time, and finally, he's got him, all right?
And they're all hugging and kissing and
happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick,
and he says, "Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!"
And what does Maverick say?
"You can ride mine!" Swordfight! Swordfight!"

Continuing that theme, take a look at the Topgun spoof, Brokeback Squadron.

Godspeed, Maverick... and remember one of the best lines from the flick: "You don't own that plane, son. The taxpayers do. So don't let your ego write any checks your body can't cash-- or you'll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong."

Words to live by...

Bette, Bettie, Betty Page is Alive, Alive, Alive!

After reading this weekend's LA Times article on Bette Page, Hollywood Thoughts decided to do a little snooping to see if we could uncover recent photos of the mysterious Ms. Page...

Our readers are surely acquainted with this real-life icon and how she changed views of sexuality. It's also prettty widely known that in recent years she prefers to not have her photograph taken ("...I want people to remember me when I was young...").

With all due respect to Ms.Page, we think she still looks great. Because so few people have seen any new shots of Betty, we consider it our contribution for the good of the community to reveal a few shots taken in the last 2 or 3 years.

The first is a mugshot from a scrape with the law in the 1980's. The others are from parties held at the Playboy Mansion.

Click here for the most notorious -- and uncensored -- shots of Bette Page.

It's hard to imagine why Ms. Page would be reticent to having her picture posted-- it's even harder to believe she's over eighty.

Ms. Page turns 82 on April 22nd.

Happy Birthday Bette-Bettie-Betty... we still think you're the cat's meow!

The Hills Have Eyes Premiere

It's a good thing to dish a little on industry happenings when you carry the word, "Hollywood" in your blog title, right?

The Hollywood Thoughts staff attended the premiere of "The Hills Have Eyes" last night at the Hollywood Arclight cinemas (you know the place, right? Its the sorta new-ish cineplex located behind the historic Cinerama Dome on Sunset Boulevard-- the very same location where you can apply to become a card-carrying "member" (and god knows I need another piece of plastic to shove into my wallet). It's also famous for charging fifteen bucks per ticket. At those prices, a movie isn't enough. I think the ushers should give you free PROSTATE screening).

I digress.

The movie is a remake of Wes Craven's 1977 Horror classic of the same name. The 2006 version was directed by Alex Aja... an up-and-comer whose father, Alexandre Arcady, is also a well-respected filmaker.












The film opens this weekend, and the buzz is that the performance at the box office will be very strong-- especially among the high school and college set. There's enough jump-in-your-seat moments to keep the nation's stadium-like seating completely filled. Emilie de Ravin (TV's, "Lost") also spends some screen time in a bikini... and THAT can't be bad for the bottom line.

The film looks great... and the performances are all very strong (Kathleen Quinlan, Ted Levine also appear). At 87 minutes, the film never drags. With a driving score, the show moves at a fairly relentless pace.

Bottom Line Review: As much as we had fun last night, I think Craven's original remains the better version. Here's why: Craven's characters were more well-established. When people started getting whacked, you cared more. Otherwise, the new version is a fun romp.

Last night's premiere was only twenty minutes late-- a blink of an eye in movieland late-start terms.

The audience seemed to enjoy the movie, and jumped at all the right places. The creepy looking mutants in the movie are a real hoot, too.

Emilie de Ravin struck us as being very sweet. She was warm, engaging and... TINY. Wow, talk about petite! She looked great with her "up 'do"-- a different look as we tend to see her on TV with her hair down. Emilie was accompanied by her Fiancee-- a very nice and down-to-earth fellow.

Lots of posers in attendance last night. You know the type: mock-serious looking dudes with lots of product in the hair and unbuttoneddowntohere french-blue shirts... blue-tooth Star Trek gizmos hanging out of their ear (even when they're not talking to anyone)... and constantly shifting eyes as they scan over the top of your head... JUST IN CASE they spot a celeb named, Hillary. Where's the ejection handle when you need to flip one of these bozos into the next zip code?!?

The After Party was held across the way, and themed to resemble the film's "Military Nuclear Test Housing Development, #3-B." Creepy looking 1950's era "just-got-blasted-by-a-500-pound-nuclear-bomb" mannequins dotted the space. Chicken and bellpepper skewers, pasta, and barbeque tri-tip were on the menu. So were an abnormal number of weirdos...


One guy in attendance had himself made-up to look like one of the film's nuclear mutants. Hey, I admit: what's more fun than sharing a bit of tri-tip with some dude that looks-like-the-world's-gnarliest-burn-victim? Mmmm, yum. Pass the hickory sauce, sparky...

Go see "Hills"...

Musing Oscar

Here are a few Hollywood Thoughts on last night's Oscar telecast:








John Stewart wasn't horrible... he just wasn't very good. He seemed nervous and stumbled when the early laughs weren't there for him. You could sense the crowd was pulling for him (especially after the fun taped opening with Billy Crystal, Letterman, Chris Rock and Steve Martin), but gave-up hope at about the five minute mark. To me, the close-ups revealed a lot of celebs thinking they were in for a long and unfunny night. How right they were...

Was it me, or did Stewart start a couple of jokes... and then never pay them off ("A lot of people say this town is out of touch with mainstream America... I don't really have a joke here.")? Where are you Billy Crystal's team of writer's-in-the wings?!? Yes, some of the faux political ads got a chuckle... but I don't want off-the-shelf material for the Oscars. Look, I love Letterman, but that doesn't mean I liked seeing him bring his 'stupid animal tricks' bit to the Academy Awards. Note to hosts: Oscar night is special. Bring new material.

Speaking of no pay-off's: what was up with the CG opening? Was there a point to Brando walking down a street and getting buzzed by a Tie-fighter? On paper, I'm sure it sounded fun... but where was the pay-off? Big start... lousy finish. Suggestion: get the guys who produce Super Bowl's ads to build next year's open.

Since no one has been able to produce a better Oscars than Gil Cates, he continues to get the gig. Listen, I hate ageism just as much as anyone... but I think Gil is getting a bit stodgy in his approach. Last night ranks as one of the bigggest bores in the history of the event. Suggestion: Cates needs to surround himself with a few writers that are more in tune with the current zeitgeist.

Some additional musings:

*Ditch the crappy canned music track under the acceptance speeches. It doesn't keep things moving along... it just makes everything sound annoying. Who thought a "one-cue-fits-all" was a good approach?

*Note to Gil: We can tell at home when you use a sweetening track. Hearing laughter or applause when the wide shots show folks sitting on their hands is, um, a sorta giveaway.

*Second Note to Gil: You don't score points when you play-off the co-Best Picture winner with Conti's orchestra. Aren't you and the director seeing the same shots we see at home? We all saw the second guy walking to the mike... what's an additional :30 seconds of air time to let the winner give a few thanks? Really. Same goes for the screenplay winner you bowled over.

*Who was the idiot that had Jennifer Garner as a presenter in direct-line-of-sight with a seated-in-the-first-row JLo?

*Who sat Heath Ledger in the front row... and then got Naomi Watts to be a downstage presenter?

*Did anyone hear Clooney when he kissed presenter Nicole Kidman? "That'll start some rumors," he said.

*Visit defamer to lip-read Tom Hanks launching an F-bomb at the orchestra (or Stewart?). Guess he didn't like being played onto the stage with the "Forrest Gump" theme. He's "beyond" that. Maybe it was a gag...?

*Lauren Bacall: Drunk? Blind? Victim of a bad teleprompter operator? Or simply confused? Your call. Either way, sad.

*What white guy thought it was a cool idea to bring Queen Latifah onto the stage immediately after the Three 6 Mafia performance? A little too spot-on, dontcha think guys?

*Too many clip packages. I'm not suggesting you bring Debby Allen and her "Fame" dancers back, but why tell us that films are too glorious to be viewed on the small screen, and then show us glorious scenes on... a TV screen???

*How bad was the Tom Hanks as a "long-winded-Oscar-winner" tape package? VERY embarrassing. Amateur hour stuff (including a lame poison dart in the neck gag). Worse than last year's Blake Edwards rocket powered wheelchair stunt. Methinks Gil Cates shouldn't have approval over the 'funny bits.'

*Thank goodness for Reese Witherspoon & Phillip Seymour Hoffman. The two best speeches of the night.

A couple of random thoughts:

OK. We've seen Isaac Mizrahi on the red carpet. Twice (Golden 'Globs,' too). That's more than enough. Anyone catch how many times the guy said, "Wow"? Start counting-- it's a new drinking game. He's so interested in getting his pre-written questions out, he never bothers to listen to what's being said by his interview subject. As he scours his list of questions, all he can muster (like a mantra) is, "Wow. Wow. That's great. Wow." Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. I got the feeling a lot of celebs were glad a row of shrubs kept them a safe distance from a possible groping.

Paparazzi get knocked quite a bit. Deservedly so. But it's a well-known secret that some celebs court the photogs. Certain stars have been known to PERSONALLY CALL the lensers when they're out at a restaurant so the publicity pack can assemble for a shot of an arrival or departure.

Hollywood Thoughts found it interesting that Lindsay Lohan appeared in front of E!'s cameras at a post telecast party and left by saying that she (paraphrased), "...had to go inside to join friends for a drink..." She was spotted by the same crew -- roughly an hour later -- on the same red carpet, STILL CONDUCTING INTERVIEWS. Hmmm. In our opinion, the interview was a little... uh... sloppy. Maybe Lindsay realized she didn't need a(nother?) drink???

Parting Thought: We can't be happier that the Academy Awards are finally over. Never again will we have to look at the big Oscar billboard at the corner intersection of our south-of-the-boulevard home. The ad campaign was a joke, right? It's a gay-themed year, and the wacky gang at the Academy thought they'd try to slip a crotch shot of some fellow 'polishing his Little Oscar' by us... right???

'Til next year.

L.A.'s Newest -- And Classiest -- Night Spot

In our Oscar party wanderings this weekend, the Hollywood Thoughts team has uncovered L.A.'s newest hot spot:

The always impressive Beverly Hills Peninsula Hotel has created an outdoor cocktail lounge alongside their rooftop pool. They've built a cozy fire pit and done a makeover of the dining area (now covered by oversized umbrellas that form a canopy over the tables-- perfect for LA's hot, sunny days). There's even a new powder blue color scheme to tie everything together. The cocktail service is currently undergoing a 'soft opening' to work out the bugs, but we can tell you that the service was, as expected, up to the Peninsula's rigorous standards. Our server, Jack, was friendly and never gave an eye roll to our many requests. Our party sat in one of the cozy cabanas (with the heater turned-on to keep the night chill off the ladies), and enjoyed the shrimp ceasar salad, crab cakes, and Thai chicken wings. All were great. The chicken soup had a bit of a bite, and was especially good.

The word on the street is that the Peninsula will soon begin to publicize the outdoor cocktail service-- a bit of marketing I've rarely seen from a hotel that trades on its exclusivity. The whole affair is understated elegance-- just like the rest of the hotel. Expect positive buzz to quickly spread, and table availability to become sparse. The revamped rooftop is certain to be a hit-- especially when the warmer nights are upon us.

The Peninsula is located at 9882 South Santa Monica Boulevard in Beverly Hills. Phone: 310.551.2888.

PORN: The San Fernando Valley's OTHER Film Business

The reasons why the fledgling film industry relocated from the east coast to Los Angeles are fairly well known (better year-round weather and quick access to a variety of locations such as the ocean... snowy mountains... and the high desert). Filmakers were also keen on not paying royalties to inventor Thomas Edison (who held several patents on their movie-making gear).

Interesting side-note: In the 1920's, Harry Culver (founder of Culver City) enticed the owners of MGM to establish their studio in his growing town. He made them an offer of free land. Lots of it. It was an offer that couldn't be refused.

Flash forward some forty years...

A cash-strapped MGM of the early 1970's no longer needed all that real estate. Lighter, more portable camera gear also makes location shooting a cost effective way of doing production (no more backlots!). The studio ownership decides to sell all of their land and move headquarters to New York.

Hollywood Thoughts recommends taking a drive around Culver City to see for yourself how large MGM was in its heyday-- six lots that comprised almost two hundred acres. It was a city-within-a-city that boasted its own fire and police departments. Backlot #2 is now a housing tract with streets named after old movie stars (this is the spot where the Andy Hardy Movies were shot. It's also where Gene Kelly danced and sang in the rain). Mrs. Miniver, National Velvet and Gigi were also filmed here. How about the apartment building named after "Sherwood Forrest"? Yep. The lake in the middle of the complex is where fellows atop their four-legged mounts were committed to celluloid. Today's Raintree Shopping Center was the former home of the Ben Hur stables.

I digress.

When MGM announced their impending departure to the colder climes of New York, Culver City politicians reminded them to check the fine print of old Harry's original land grant. The ownership of lot #1 -- the largest parcel by a wide margin -- would revert to Culver City as soon as film production ceased on the property. In other words, the land wasn't MGM's to sell. Moving to New York no longer made sense from a financial perspective. MGM would remain a part of Hollywood.

It's clear to see how the movie business became established in Los Angeles... but how did the OTHER film biz come to be? How did Porn become a homegrown export?

One logical explanation is that a large talent pool from the mainstream industry falls into part-time jobs in the "adult" business between 'regular' assignments. A darker view contends that enterprising businessmen lured down-on-their-luck wannabe actresses with paychecks for 'adult' performances.

In any event, the adult film industry continues to thrive in the San Fernando Valley. Why the Valley? Simple: Cheaper real estate. Lower overhead.

While the major studios worry that box office receipts continue to decline each year (down 8% from last year), the business of porn logs greater revenue on a yearly basis. Thanks to video and the internet, consumers can view or purchase porn from anywhere a wireless laptop will allow. Sex has always been a discreet affair... and now, in the digital age, that extends to its commerce.

How easy is it to become the new Louis B. Mayer of porn? The next Larry Flynt? Very.

Take a look at Matt's Models. Matt (we don't know his last name) has a website. And a camera... and a modest home somewhere near Universal Studios.

If you're a decent looking female, Matt will give you a few bucks... IF you're willing to remove your clothes. Then he'll invite web-surfers to pay a small amount to subscribe to his site to view his handiwork with his digital camera (you can see some of this if you Click here. It's a smart business plan. Virtually no overhead, and nothing but profits. Matt's as much a pioneer in the business of filmaking as Culver, Loew, Laemmle or Mayer. When you think about it, one man and his camera isn't too far removed from the modest beginnings of the (future) movie moguls and their Times Square nickelodeons.

As old as the industry is, it's continuing evolution continues to impress. With or without clothing.

Pirates of the Caribbean is Closing

The day is upon us:

The Pirates of the Caribbean ride that we all know and love is closing its doors at Disneyland. Forever.

Sure, it'll re-open at the end of June... but it won't be the same show. The ride's new version will include an audio-animatronic robot of Johnny Depp's "Captain Jack Sparrow" character from the Pirates of the Carribbean movie.

I have a couple of concerns:

Why are they doing this? Why mess with a classic? If Disney want's to add a few more non-descript pirates to keep things fresh, fine. I get it. But add the likeness of a real-life person? Bad idea.




"Why," you ask?

Two words: Michael Jackson.


Didn't Disney learn the lesson of what happens to their wholesome image when an accused pedophile is let into its gates (with repeated Captain EO showings at 9, 10, 11, Noon, 1, 2, and 3pm!!!)?

Look, I get the feeling that Depp is an OK guy in real life, and that he loves his kids. But what happens when he releases a movie with an NC-17 rating? What if his career hits the skids and he's doing cheesy direct-to-video releases? Is that the related baggage you want floating through tourists minds as they glide past the 'Johnny the Jump Street Pirate'? Will they give him a coke-snorting, Kate Moss look-a-like audio animatronic wench by his side? Maybe his character can hang-out by a nightclub where the River Phoenix pirate can take a stumble into the fake river (this will replace the lovable bloke lying in the mud with his robotic kittens). Come to think of it, 'ol Johnny has played a lot of pervs (think: Ed Wood... Don Juan DeMarco... etc., etc. Perfect person for the kiddies to encounter on their trip to the Happiest Place on Earth).

I bet Johnny Depp replaces the dashing auctioneer. Maybe the Imagineers can conjure-up the blonde Wynona Rider from Edward Scissorhands (as the 'new' gal in red getting auctioned away).

Here's another thought: Depp has - on numerous times - publicly expressed his dislike for America. He's repeatedly said that he is embarrassed about being an American and has vowed to never raise any of his children here in the states. Take THAT all of you annual passholders!

Yes, pirates really existed, Virginia, but that was a long time ago. So long ago, in fact, that they seem like a fantasy-- just like Disneyland's magic kingdom. Nobody has any first-hand memories of Bluebeard running around with scissors attached to his hands or trashing hotel rooms.

::::

A FEW TIPS:

The ride closes on March 6th, and re-opens around June 24th. If you're planning a visit to pay your final respects, I highly recommend the following:

If you can, avoid Disneyland's crowds on Fridays and Saturdays. If you must attend on a weekend, Sunday is generally the least busy day. Here's the reasoning:

Tourists tend to arrive on Friday and feel compelled to hit the park as soon as they get settled into their hotels. Local kids visit on Saturdays and fill the park by using their annual passes. Most folks give the parks a rest on Sunday thinking that there will be smaller lines on Monday. THAT'S where they're wrong. Monday is generally LOADED with tourists.

And, of course, Tuesday - Thursday is the best time to visit Disneyland & California Adventure.

Houston, We Have A Poopy

Seems there's always been a certain fascination among casual NASA observers as to how astronauts take care of 'business' whilst aloft. Come to think of it, the concern extends even further back: apparently the first question King George V asked Lindbergh after he landed was, "How did you pee?" The answer was left somewhere on the shoulders of the Frenchmen that hoisted the lad from St. Louis above the adoring crowd. I guess Thirty-plus hours in the air turns anyone into a pants-wetter.

Aah, the glamorous life of the brave young men and their flying machines.

When the shuttle takes orbit today, the crew uses a multi-million dollar gadget that resembles a normal toilet. No water is involved (as things would likely float away and into the nooks and crannys of some critical keyboard). Instead, the commode uses spinning blades (YIKES!) to FLING whatever you've... um, discarded... into the void. Sorta the Benihana of B.M.'s.

If you want really fun potty-time action, you have to go back to the height of the 1960's space race.

In the beginning, space shots were simple, half-day affairs. Original engineers and mission planners never considered that astronauts would have a need to void. Alan Shephard's first flight was nearly cancelled because he literally peed himself.

Astronauts lay in a head-slightly-lower-than-their-legs attitude on the launch pad, and all of Shephard's urine immediately rolled down towards his helmet and completely soaked his back. The temperature spike threatened to overload his spacesuit's cooling controls. After "Operation Let 'Er Rip," Shephard reported back to Mission Control in his best Jose Jimenez accent, "Now I really am a wet back."

After Shephard, NASA provided the astronauts with a urine control device. It was a simple contraption that consisted of a collection bag, rubber tube (that ran down the astronaut's leg), and a condom. Originally the condoms were categorized as small, medium or large.

The astronauts didn't care for the labeling, and most went for the ones marked, "large." Suffice it to say, there were a lot of leaks. In time, management readjusted the way condoms were categorized. The new system carried only, "Large, Extra Large or, Double-Extra Large."

Later, astronauts were hooked directly to a tube that vented directly to the vacuum of space. When a valve was opened, everything was sucked out into the ether. Astronauts say it was a unique feeling-- the gentle tug they felt was a reminder that they were connected to the universe in a way unlike anyone else.

The real trouble on orbit came when astronauts found themselves having to do a "Number Two."

Gemini and Apollo spacecraft were pretty tight confines. Privacy was non-existent. It's reported that frogmen actually fell backwards after opening the hatch on Gordon Cooper's Gemini 8 mission. After 191 hours aloft, the stench was that bad.

Defecating was a bit of acrobatics. First you had to strip completely naked (including your rings and watches because you never knew what would happen). Then you attached a plastic bag (lined with an adhesive flap) to your bottom... and then WENT. Remember: the astronaut is floating... the bag is floating... and, that's right, so is the feces. Niiiiice image. There are stories that on one mission, a stool went commando. Imagine the panic. Sorta like the Baby Ruth-In-The-Pool scene from Caddyshack.

It's rumored that Apollo 8's Bill Anders was so freaked by this incident, he gave himself a mega-dosing of Immodium for his 'round-the-moon shot in 1968. Watch the footage, post landing, on the deck of the recovery ship: He's WADDLING. Anders still holds the longest No-Bowl-Movement record: three quarters of a million miles without a poop.

Locals Only, Please

Regarding Sunday's L.A. Times article ("Little Goes a Long Way") on the Dodger's new manager, Grady Little:

We learned that Grady likes to talk about his love of North Carolina. We also got to see Grady buzzing the Caroline backroads on his motorcycle.

Blah-blah-blah.

A Word of Advice to Grady: You're now the skipper of the LOS ANGELES Dodgers. It's time to act like a local. Start making like you actually care about L.A.

Grady, I hope the next shot I see of you on your bike is while you're cruising PCH.

Take a look at the guys who acheived long-term success in this town. Tommy not only bleeds blue, he lives right here in the Southland. Walt Alston did the same.

See, Grady, we prefer to think that our managers actually have a connection to LA. We want to know you care about the city you represent-- and whose name you wear across your chest.
We don't like feeling that some outsider has snuck-in to run our beloved team (Hey, wait a minute! Doesn't the guy sitting in the owner's box really want to run the Red Sox?!?)



Bottom Line: Who wants to feel like you're somebody's second choice?

Sure, Tommy was originally from Pennsylvania -- and Walt was from Ohio -- but take notice of the past-tense usage. Both adopted LA as their own. Want to take a place in the local hall of fame? Ditch the talk about the Carolinas, and make yourself a regular around town.

Instead of being spotted at the local Piggly-Wiggly, let's start seeing you at Musso & Franks. Or Phillipe's. Maybe grab a Dodger dog at the Citywalk before you catch a flick.

Of course, Grady, if you REALLY want to be loved by the local fans, do something that hasn't been done (on a regular basis, anyway) since Tommy was at the helm: Win some games and stay in uniform through October.

Hollywood Landmark Goes Bye-Bye

Yeah, sure, we live in a town that doesn't cherish its past. People have written endlessly on the topic, so I won't add to the pile of words.

What I WILL do, however, is give you a heads-up so you can bid farewell to another old friend.

The Old Spaghetti Factory on Sunset Boulevard is about to be pulled-down by a wreckers ball. The old Studebaker showroom (and garage) is scheduled for demolition sometime after the summer of '06. Condos are to replace the restaurant.


If you've never been, I recommend a visit. The food is decent, and the prices are very reasonable. They've got a fun bar... but the main reason for going is to catch a glimpse of old Hollywood. The furnishings are gaudy-- but fun. Take the kids and grab a seat in the old trolley car.

Oh, yeah... the host is a hoot. Reminds you of the stiff manservant in "Sunset Boulevard."

Death Of A Baseball Dynasty

An opening statement:

Hollywood Thoughts is a longtime LA Dodgers rooter. Contrary to most LA baseball fans, Hollywood Thoughts still reserves judgment regarding the management practices of current owner, Frank McCourt. To his critics, one thing can definitely be said in his defense: Anyone is better than former owners FOX.

One of the saddest days for any LA Dodger fan occured the moment Peter O'Malley announced he was selling the team.



Peter Daly (l), Peter O'Malley (r)






O'Malley publicly said that he was selling the team because his children weren't interested in running the club. He also said that Major League Baseball was fast turning into a money losing proposition.

There might be some truth to these notions, but Hollywood Thoughts believes there are bigger, darker reasons behind O'Malley's departure.

Peter O'Malley -- and his father before him -- represented the finest ownership in all of professional sports. Possibly only the Pittsburgh Steeler's father & son team (Art and Dan Rooney) compare. Regardless of your interest in baseball, anyone in LA who knew the name O'Malley understood that this family was a class act. The O'Malley's always sought to deliver winning seasons to the city that supported their operation. The stadium was always tidy... the food good... and the team found ways to invest and give back to the community.




A myth continues to float across the Southland to this day that the O'Malley's were responsible for upending poor (mostly Latino) families from Chavez Ravine (the home of Dodger Stadium). Not true. Houses were leveled and families were evicted from the hilly enclave long before the O'Malley's considered moving the ball club from Brooklyn. The LA City Council orginally earmarked the acreage for a housing tract shortly after World War II. The Dodgers moved to LA in 1958.

I digress.

Here's the reason why the Dodgers lost Peter O'Malley:

Several years had passed with LA having no professional football team to calll their own.

Published sources say that Mayor Richard Riordan approached Peter O'Malley with a question: Would O'Malley entertain the idea of becoming an NFL franchise owner? Would O'Malley build a football stadium on Dodger Stadium property?




Reports say that O'Malley eventually spent a million dollars of his own money to finance environmental impact studies and architectural drawings for the proposed stadium. The Dodgers also purchased additional property around Dodger Stadium (in theory to support additional parking spaces to replace lost acreage for the new football stadium which would have been built near the old LAPD Academy site).

The NFL had a long-standing rule against its owners having a stake in any other profesional league. They made an exception for Peter O'Malley. The NFL rightly considered him a "catch"-- and recognized him as a way to add polish to their image.

For a brief while, it seemed that pro football was headed back to Los Angeles.

Then Mark Ridley Thomas and politics entered the picture.



LA City Councilman Thomas ruled over the area that encompassed the LA Coliseum-- former home of The Rams, Raiders and the 1932 & 1984 Olympics.

The garnd old stadium was in decline... and sat empty most of the year.

When he caught wind that the NFL was looking at Chavez Ravine for their new home, Thomas began a very public campaign to keep the Coliseum as the only site to be considered for a football team. There were whispers that a move to abandon the downtown coliseum was an admission of racism. Leave the coliseum, and you're turning your back on your (mostly African-American) constituency.

Riordan didn't abandon the Coliseum. He left O'Malley holding the bag.

Private sources indicated that O'Malley felt jilted. Why stick around? What's the point if your own Mayor won't support you? O'Malley never asked to be considered for an NFL franchise. His Mayor (and some members of the city council) approached HIM. Being the good team player, O'Malley jumped into the project.

When the politicians dumped him for fear of being labeled as racists, O'Malley took one for the team. He never publicly uttered a negative word against Riordan or the others.

In retrospect those were the opening days of the decline of the LA Dodgers. We lost O'Malley... and were forced to endure a horrible management team backed by Rupert Murdoch. We lost the promise of an NFL franchise... and have seen a revolving door of managers, players, and executives. There's also been an increase of schlocky outfield ads, promotions and prices at the souvenir and food stands.

Remember how the guys hawking programs used to shout, "Program! Get Yer Program! Ya can't know the players without yer programs!" I used to think that was a silly line. I didn't need a program! For nearly a decade we had Garvey, Lopes, Russell, Cey and Yeager in the infield. We had a TEAM. Who needed a lousy program!

Those were the golden days. NOW you definitely need a program since players leave on an almost daily basis for more lucrative contracts. Hell, these days the LA players don't even have names on the backs of their jerseys. OF COURSE I NEED A PROGRAM!

LA mourns the loss of tradition... a classy ownership... and the death of a dynasty.

How The Lone Ranger Built Disneyland

Before I start, know that Hollywood Thoughts is a very big fan of Disneyland.

That said, our friend from Tabloid Baby visited Disneyland yesterday but didn't have the time - or the inclination - to visit the neighboring Disney theme park called 'California Adventure.'

He's not the first.

Let's face it: to most folks, Disney's California Adventure (DCA) is a misfire.

Bit-O-Trivia: More than fifty percent of Disneyland's guests are locals (arriving from within a 50 mile radius).

Armed with that knowledge, I ask you this question: Who wants to make the drive from Santa Monica (or Tarzana... or Long Beach... or Inglewood... or from any nearby locale) to watch a pair of humanoid Watts Towers dance down the parade route (like I did)? Or gaze upon mini replicas of Hollywood Boulevard buildings? Or get blasted with the fake stink of pine trees whilst 'paragliding' over a northern California forest?

Hey, Disney, I live here. I can get the real deal everyday of the year... for free. I don't need a $50 'park hopper' to enjoy real California pine trees.



Yeah, yeah. I know. DCA was also built to satisfy foreign travelers who don't have the time to see and experience all that California has to offer. A second 'gate' also keeps visitors on Disney property for more days. More days, more Disney dollars spent.

That said, ever wonder how DCA got built?

The Lone Ranger's dad died.

But let's get started by getting into our Astro Blasters and zip back to 1954:

Jack Wrather was a prominent figure in Hollywood. He was also married to former actress, Bonita Granville. When Walt Disney ran short of money during the very early days of Disneyland, Wrather offered to build the Disneyland hotel. The two men were pals and Disney gladly accepted the offer. Now he could relax knowing his visitors would have a nearby decent night's lodging. To sweeten the pot, Disney later extended a spur from the monorail to the hotel's entrance-- a unique feature that set Wrather's carpet joint apart from the ricky-ticky overnight dives that lined Harbor Boulevard.

Flash forward several decades to Wrather's death.

The newly widowed Bonita Granville phoned the Disney studios with an offer: now that her husband was dead, Bonita wanted to unload most of his holdings. They included his entire film and TV library (of which the "Lone Ranger" series was a part). Wrather also held the operating contract for the Long Beach Queen Mary... and, of course, the deed to the Disneyland Hotel.

Disney agreed to pay for the film library and the hotel.

Bonita played hardball. 'Take everything... or nothing.' Disney wanted absolutely nothing to do with the run-down and under-visited Queen Mary. In twenty years time, several operators of the floating hotel had come and gone. None were able to generate success in Long Beach.

Bonita threatened to sell to the highest bidder (you go, girl!).

With visions of a monorail depositing tourists to some sort of cheesy lap-dance-and-all-you-can-eat-buffet bistro, Disney capitulated and bought-out Bonita. Disney could now rightly claim the namesake hotel as their own. They also got a giant boat in the port of Long Beach.

Disney, like the others before them, could find no way to generate additional dollars through the Queen's turnstiles. A second gate-- a seaside theme park (similar to the old Pacific Ocean Park) was suggested as a way of getting more visitors to the Long Beach landmark. Plans were drawn, and hundreds of thousands of dollars were spent on designing every aspect of the new Disney/ Long Beach park.

Disney thought they had a slam dunk concept: the new "Disney Seas" would revitalize Long Beach and keep the Queen alive. Who wouldn't want a Disney theme park with an ocean view?

Apparently the Long Beach city council.

Disney was told to get lost. Cutting their losses, The Burbank-based company dumped the Queen Mary contract as quickly as possible, and floated their Disney Seas concept to Tokyo Disneyland. Japan's Disney Seas park is a hit.

The Queen Mary continues to struggle.

Interestingly, Disney was also snubbed around the same time by the residents of Virginia when they tried building a "Disney's America" theme park within sight of some historic Civil War battle sites. I guess a bloodied, bandaged, and kepi-wearing Mickey Mouse was too much for relatives of Great-great-great Grandpas lost in the Battle of Spotsylvania.

Final Stretch: Our trip returns to Disneyland's parking lot-- home of DCA.

From the get-go, DCA has been regarded by critics -- and guests -- as being a failure. The park is accused of being derivative. Many feel that DCA is too "off the shelf"-- a term that refers to the attractions as not seeming 'uniquely Disney.'

Here's my prediction:

DCA ultimately fails to bring-in the requisite operating dollars. Disney will get their "America" park. DCA's Santa Cruz boardwalk will be transformed into a turn-of-the-century Coney Island. The San Francisco section will be made over into Boston's waterfront (can anyone say, "Tea Party Flume ride"?). The Edwards Air Force Base ripoff will suddenly become, "The Kennedy Space Center Moon Shot," and the Hollywood land section will be shoved outside the park's security fences (where the general public will be allowed to visit free of charge like today's Downtown Disney). It's here where wrung-out 'Tourist Daddys' (the kids safely tucked-away for the night in the Disney Hotel), will be able to hire a 'Disney Escort' for a fun-filled Disney-night.

The Grammys Are A Bore

Sly had the right idea.

He just walked-off the stage when he had enough of the loud, screeching mess.

Reese Witherspoon Paparazzi Vanishes... And Then Is Found

From the UPI News Service on January fifth:

"A search is under way for the photographer who skipped
out on his bail hearing. Witherspoon and her children
were allegedly accosted by Todd K. Wallace at Disney's
California Adventure park in September. He allegedly
struck one child with his camera and shoved Disney
employees who tried to come to the aid of the group.

He missed his Dec. 19 bail hearing on child
endangerment and battery counts brought in the
Witherspoon case and a Dec. 27
arraignment on a separate felony petty theft charge,
The Los Angeles Times reported.

"We have no idea where he is right now," Patrick Ahle,
an Anaheim prosecutor handling the Witherspoon
case, told The Times. "He is in the wind."

He's in the wind, allright. Uh... ashes to ashes sorta stuff. Todd just turned-up on Super Bowl Sunday. Enjoying the day all by himself. Rotting away on his couch. Dead for quite awhile in his apartment. Mmmm. Pass the dip, buddy.

His last public appearance was Dec. 6 on MSNBC's "Rita Cosby Live & Direct," during which he defended celebrity paparazzi.

I Guess Reese will miss him on this year's Oscar Red Carpet walk.

Is Everyone Blind To The Truth?

Remember the name Sports Sims-- and run in the opposite direction from their IPO.

Here's a snippet from their Friday press release regarding Sunday's Super Bowl:



"SPORTSIMS.NET PREDICTS 2006 SUPER BOWL WINNER

Defiance, OH — With a record
of 14-4 in past Super Bowl
predictions, SportSims.net
simulated the Super Bowl 40,000
times to determine this year’s champion.

“We may see the first ever Super Bowl
overtime. The results of the simulation
show amazingly close scores.” The average
points scored: Seattle-25.2,
Pittsburgh-24.6. "(Sports Sims experts)
...entered the players’ actual season statistics
into their simulation engine rather than using
subjective player ratings to get the most
accurate results possible.

In 40,000 simulations, the Seattle Seahawks
won 53% of the time. When the Seahawks won,
they outscored the Pittsburgh Steelers 27-24.
In the 47% of the games where Pittsburgh won,
they outscored Seattle 24-21.

Shaun Alexander, on the strength of his 29 carries
for 125 and two touchdowns,
is named the Super Bowl MVP."



Is it just me, or does it seem like these guys could find a better use of their energy than running a flawed software system 40,000 TIMES??!!??

I don't want to hear any belly-aching about bad officiating; the better team won. If you reversed all the "bad calls," Pittsburgh still comes-out ahead. Bottom Line: the Steelers made 2 or 3 more good plays than Seattle and they go home Champions. Seattle had plenty of lost opportunities... is that the fault of a guy wearing stripes???

Since I correctly predicted the outcome of last night's game, here I go out on another limb: Steelers play in either the '07 or '08 Super Bowl.

Like I've said: The NFL dynasty is shifting from Massachusetts and heading to Pittsburgh.

The Superman Curse Hits ABC

Word to the wise: If David Westin offers you the ABC Nightly News anchor gig, JUST SAY NO.

First it's Peter. Then it's Woodruff. Catch my drift? Think Christopher Reeve and George Reeves. Think: the Darren's on Betwitched. If you love your kids, just don't go there. Say no, and start backing away.

Godspeed, Elizabeth Vargas. Oh, wait! YOU'RE pregnant... one month into your new gig, and YOU'RE GONE, TOO!

Yikes! Can ABC just patch-in Bob Schieffer's CBS feed at 6pm???

Big Ben's Ready To Go!

Being a Pittsburgh Steelers fan born and raised in Los Angeles has been a long and lonely existence.

That said, I have noticed an uptick in Black & Gold apparel in the Southland over the past few years. Nice to see.

Here are a couple of shots of Big Ben Roethlisberger-- Pittsburgh's first, 'real-deal' quarterback since Bradshaw.

I don't know when these shots were taken, but I hope it's NOT Ben's idea of a training regimen for Sunday's game in Detroit...

In any event, Steelers by 10.

Oprah Makes Me Sick

Regarding fiction author, James Frey's visit with Oprah yesterday...

Oprah says she was duped by Frey's book, A Million Little Pieces. Frey admitted to MAKING-UP (Oprah: "Lying, James, lying!") parts of his story.

Who cares?

It's a memoir. Who said, "A memoir is the most outrageous form of fiction"? Smart observation. From watching Oprah's show (and all the pundits who followed on the cable news oulets), I've come to realize that the term 'memoir' has many different meanings to different folks.


The guy altered the details. So what? How does this effect anyone? He made the book more readable. Are addicts all over the world now going to stop "holding on" because Frey stretched the truth? Does he still get points for those that continue to keep the faith? What happens to all the kids that believe they can fly after closing the book on Harry Potter ? Wait'll they find-out that J.K. Rowling based her hero on an unemployed cousin.

Look, it's no secret Frey shopped the manuscript as fiction. If the reports are true, he was turned-down by seventeen different publishers.

Then Nan Talese entered the picture.

If anyone should be scrutinized, it's Talese. Some say that it was Talese who decided to market the book as non-fiction.

Wasn't it fun to watch Nan distance herself from the book on Oprah? Just think: yesterday's show would never have happened if Nan had simply added the words, "some events have been altered to protect certain identities."

How about Oprah making herself out to be the victim in all of this. She screeched at Talese for being derelict in her duties as publisher for not properly vetting the book. Hey, wait a minute-- shouldn't Oprah have vetted the book, too? Wasn't Oprah accusing Talese of commiting the same sin that she, Oprah, is guilty of?

One last thought: Oprah shredded Frey on live TV yesterday for portraying a false image of himself to his fans. You know what I'd love to do? I'd love to grab the guy at Hermes in Paris and ask him if he saw the same Oprah clawing at his locked door that we see everyday smiling from our TV sets?

(A portion of this column appeared in the LA Times)

Disney-Pixar Deal Blows!

Here's my first, true, Hollywood thought:

The Pixar deal blows.

Mark my words: it will soon go down as the worst Hollywood mega-merger deal since Time Warner/ AOL.

Here's another prediction: Bob Iger 'aint long for the biggest, most padded chair in the Board of Directors room. I predict that Steve Jobs will be staging a coup for that seat sometime in the next two years.

To some observers it appears that Steve Jobs fancies himself as the next Walt Disney. To borrow a phrase, he is no Walt Disney (funny how most of Walt's successors have thought they were the second coming; must be something about taking that corner office).

Again, I digress.

OK, here's my real beef on the deal:

SEVEN BILLION DOLLARS.

For what??!!??

Used computers? Ratty old Ikea office furniture?

From what I've seen the Pixar digs are cool-- but seven BILLION dollars worth of cool? No way. Perhaps the real estate and what's on it is worth seven MILLION dollars... but Iger over paid. By a lot.

OK, maybe you're saying, "Hey, that seven billion also buys you a valuable film library."

Nice try... but wrong.

Disney already owns "Toy Story," and "Finding Nemo" and all the other Disney/ Pixar releases.

So, again, I ask: "What the hell did they pay seven billion for???"

One answer: John Lasseter.

He's the guy (along with his key creative personnel) that are behind the creation of all those great films and their animated characters.

God help Iger if he didn't sign Lasseter to a LONG and VERY BINDING contract when he signed the dotted line of this week's Pixar deal. As of the moment, it appears Lasseter is only signed through 2009. Uh-oh.

I, for one, will be at the next share holder meeting (March 15th at the Arrowhead Pond) requesting Iger's head if he didn't do the RIGHT DEAL and sign Lasseter.

Bottom Line: Why the hell didn't Iger just steal Lasseter away from Pixar and set him up in his own shop? I guarantee it would have been a lot cheaper.

(A portion of this column appeared in the LA Times)

Sixth Seed Makes The Super Bowl

Does anyone really believe that the Steelers are a sixth seed?

C'mon! Seriously?!?

Were it not for some mid-season injuries, the team would have been 14-2 (maybe 13-3). Pittsburgh is truly the best team in the AFC.

Fine. Maybe it's better to fly under the radar and have everyone underestimate your team.

It's also better to be the underdog. Everyone loves an underdog.

It was funny -- and maddening -- to hear the big-brained TV commentators predict the Steelers weekly demise with each passing game. Most seemed to think that Pittsburgh would be killed by the Bengals in the first round of playoffs by recounting the teams last meeting (Pittsburgh was trounced). One big difference for the playoffs: The Bengals were meeting a different (read: HEALTHY) Steelers.

Enough blabbing.

Get ready for a new NFL dynasty... it's shifting from Massachusetts and heading east to Pittsburgh.

Bottom Line: Steelers over Seattle by 10.

Steelers Go All The Way-- YES!

Going out on a limb and predicting that it's a Steelers Vs. Carolina Super Bowl.

With that happy thought in mind, here's a little ditty that might come in handy for your ipod play list on game day. The lyris are slightly dated, but it'll get any fan in black and gold revved-up...

Does Reggie Bush Get Payola???

Let me first say that I'm a USC fan.

That said, this photo from today's LA Times has me concerned.

How does a kid from the inner city afford diamond earrings and an expensive watch?

Aren't there restrictions on how much dough amateur athletes can pull in? Maybe I'm just a cynic. It's probably just a gift from the owner of the Houston Texans...

Bad Penny

Welcome to my first blog. Ever. Anyone care???

Is it just me... or does anyone recognize the fact that society is losing the ability to properly make change?

Let me explain:

When I was a kid (and I'm not that old), I was taught how to CORRECTLY count-out change.

Example: The bill is $10.50 and you hand me a twenty. I first start by handing you fifty cents (this was waaay before anybody would have thought naming themselves after a couple of quarters was a cool idea), and saying, "fifty makes eleven," and then handing you four singles and a five (all the while counting aloud, "twelve (give 'em a single with a snap!)... thirteen (snap a single!)... fourteen (snap!)... fifteen (SNAP!)... and five (give him the fiver), makes twenty.").

Here's the point of this pointless blog:

I gave you the silver FIRST. I didn't do what the gang at the corner Jack-In-The-Box does today: put the bills in your hand first, and THEN slap the quarters on top of the rumpled mass FOR THEM TO SLIDE OFF AND ONTO THE DRIVEWAY.

Speaking of Jack-In-The-Box: Has anyone ever ordered a Jumbo Jack with Cheese and heard it read back through Jack's mouth? Take a listen (or do it for fun). It sorta sounds like they're saying, "You want a Yumbo Yack with Jizz?"

Uh... yeah. Gimme the Yumbo Yack-- but hold the jizz. Please.

I digress.

So where did everything go wrong?

Its Digital World, baby. The computers do our thinking. The cats at McDonald's H.Q. saw the slide our kids were taking in school and figured they'd be losing millions via incorrectly counted change. The solution, of course, was smart cash registers. Why have a Stridex slathered teenager get flustered over figuring change (and getting it wrong), when a register can do it for you instead?

I won't even get into telling time in the digital age... and the loss of old sayings like "half past eleven" or, "quarter 'till."

Sooo... what does all of this mean???

First, this post reveals I'm spending too much time in drive thrus... and with folks that are forced to wear name badges.